Stupid Premed Questions

There are some premed questions that are just plain stupid. Well, scratch that, rephrase many premed questions that are just plain stupid.

This one makes me nuts. Because it's a circular question, to which the answer is so plainly obvious that I don't understand why it generates SOOOO much talk.

Stupid question #1: Do adcoms frown on taking the MCAT more than once?

My gut response: SCREEEEECH (pterodactyl noise of irritation).

My rational (somewhat) response: Um, who cares? I mean, in every situation who cares?

If you bombed it and need to take the MCAT again, having more than one score is certainly better than having a low score.... as you won't even get considered. Better to be "frowned" upon than to have your application thrown into file 13, right? Duh.

If you got an OK score, lets say 29, and you're shooting for a better school and better score, take it! If you can't get in with a 29, you have to? Right? It's not like the school who wants a 32 would look at an application with just a 29 and say "oh GOOD, he only took the MCAT once!!!!!!!" vs seeing an application with a 29 and a 33 and saying "well, this applicant clearly sucks as he re-took the MCAT".

If you got a ROCK STAR score, why would you bother taking it again? This might be a problem better solved by counseling and a good psychiatrist. Besides, what if you got a LOWER score? Mwahahahahahahahaaaa.

If your scores EXPIRED, again, you don't really have a choice, right? Better than the app going in the trash.

If you are scheduled for the exam but not prepared, why purposely put a low score on your transcript that you will have to trump later anyways?

If you have a string of low scores... you're never going to get into med school without a good one... so what's another score??

Your Friends are OLD

So last night I'm out with some friends. Lolo was there of course (she and I are kinda inseparable), Lizzard, Lizzard's boyfriend M, and Ralph. For a re-cap, Lolo is an epidemiologist, Lizzard is getting her PhD in Epi, M is a fellow, and Ralph is an attending. Got it? Ok.

So we got some din-din (sushi, bleh), got caught up on the New Orleans real world episodes (bleh, bleh) and then headed out to get some drinks. The Bridge Lounge is an ok place, minus the smoke and the occasional piles of dog vomit you could step in bc it's a dog bar as well, but they have one thing going for them... that's that they make the most ridiculous key lime martinis on earth. So we went.

Upon arrival, it just so happens that a good portion of my class is there. Including my cutie patootie ex-lab partner Panda. Who admits to reading my blog (XOXO). So I chit chat a bit and begin to introduce him to my friends. To which he promptly denies me, peeking over my shoulder with a look of reluctance. "Who ARE they?" I then recount the above resume, to which he replies "Man, your friends are OLD!! I think I'm going to pass"

And seriously folks, he was serious. But I don't get it. When I was twenty-oh-something, I would have been totally stoked to be introduced to older people higher on the food chain in my field in a social setting. No?

Cheating

The New York Times posted an article about cheating today, albeit not in med schools, but it got me thinking. Is this really a problem in medical schools? I can honestly say I have never cheated on an exam. I would like to say I have never cheated ever, and although I can't remember any specific event, I wouldn't go so far as to say I never copied someone's homework in high school. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Sounds like something I probably would have done. But not in college. And not in my Master's work. And certainly, without a doubt, positively, never, never, ever, in medical school. Holy crap I worked so hard to get here I'd way rather fail an exam (or a whole class) than to be kicked out for cheating. The thought of it makes me cringe.

But I do hear of "situations". And we have an honor board judicial committee for just that. A grapevine story at my school (about a DIFFERENT school) is about a couple of friends, Jack and Jill, who had a professor that was apparently out to get them. During an exam, the professor thinks Jack is copying Jill's work, and essentially threatens Jill with "if you don't turn him in I will". Jill denies that Jack would ever do such a thing, and refuses to turn him in, and the whole thing blows up. They both get sent to committee, and their parents hire fancy attorneys and the school hires a "cheating specialist" who somehow can determine if cheating took place and who cheated off who. The specialist decides that no cheating has occurred, and Jack and Jill are invited back to med school, to which they both promptly reply "Fuck you" and transfer schools.

Anyway, anybody know how often cheating occurs in med schools? I'd like to know.

Caribbean Schools

So I'd like to get some discussion going about Caribbean schools. From people who WENT there. I can speculate all I want from people I know... but I'd like to hear about your experiences. Specifically.... which one you went to, if you'd do it again, if you think it's better than the DO option, the quality of the education, the attitude of the professors and administration, work ethic and dedication of the student body, overall living conditions, financial aid, clinical exposure... basically your overall experience.

I want real info. Not a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend kinda stuff (unless you are their BFF of course) :)

Gallbladder Schmallbladder... haha.

Eh, not dying. Gallbladder is fine. I just happen to be having intermittent excruciating pain exactly where my gallbladder is. Coincidentally.

Ouch

So last night around 10 pm my stomach started hurting. RUQ, just right of center, shallow and under my rib cage. A couple weeks ago I had the same pain, but it was less intense and I dismissed it as a strained muscle or gas, whatever.

But last night hurt. A lot. So of course I was thinking gallbladder. But although it was painful, I expected gallbladder pain to be much worse. I thought about going to the ER, but I would wayyy rather be miserable in my own bed than miserable in an ER waiting room... so I meditated my way back to sleep (see? the course came in handy after all!). By 4 am the pain woke me up, and I was COLD. So I took a hot bath and tried to fall back asleep. I woke up at 9 and headed to the hospital for bloodwork and an ultrasound.

After my ultrasound, the following conversation took place:

Me: So did you see anything blatantly abnormal?

U.S. tech: You have to discuss that with your doctor.

Me: Hmmm. That doesn't sound good (laughing)

U.S. Tech: silence and a stare

Me: O-kaaaayyyy, then

U.S. Tech: I can tell you if it was really really bad I wouldn't let you leave right now

Me: (silently) What the EFF does that mean???

Summer Continued...

So lets discuss all I have done this summer. Well, that's about it. Lol. No, seriously. I've re-done some furniture, been swimming a few times, been training for my marathon (which is going well, actually), procrastinated studying for my make-up physio exams, and dropped out of my Buddhist retreat. Bleh. That's a decent story.... here goes.

So my friend Kiluam went on and on about how I should go to this retreat since I am interested in Buddhism and meditation. 10 days. He did it and said it was awesome. I was a little nervous but he kept assuring me that I would love it. I purposely didn't research it bc I didn't want other's opinions to influence me. So about 2 weeks ago I drove to the Dallas area for the retreat. 10 days. 10 hours of meditation per day. No talking. No phones. No reading. No journaling. No exercise. No eating after 12 noon. No sweat? The eating thing made me nervous... but other than that I was pretty game.

When I got there I was fine. The place was nice, I had my own room, the food was good. I wasn't hungry, either. They were however, adamant that we promise to stay all 10 days. In order to give the mediation technique a fair shake. Ok, fair enough. No sweat. The first evening of meditation was nice, and the whole next day was ok, too. Silence. Meditation. Mindful eating. But 10 hours was still 10 hours. A lot. You wake up at 4:00 am, meditate 2 hours, eat breakfast at 6:30 am, mediate 'till 11. Eat lunch. Mediate 'till bedtime essentially .By the 3rd day fatigue started really setting in and I was fighting to stay awake during my mediations. It was a horrible day. All day I was fantasizing about sleep. By the time the evening rolled around I was exhausted, and trying to convince myself not to quit. But that inner discussion kept me from sleeping, which made me panic more, because I simply could not face another full day of fighting fatigue. Frankly, driving 500 miles home seemed less daunting than trying to keep it together for another full 10 hours of mediation.

So at 3:00 in the morning, a full hour before the morning gong is rung, I snuck out. I strapped all my belongings to me so I didn't have to make 2 trips, and I left like a thief in the night. Like escape from Alcatraz. I hiked to the parking lot, wheeling my suitcase off the sidewalk in the grass as to not make any noise. When I finally reached my car, I realized someone blocked me in. Luckily I have a jeep. I threw my shit in, off roaded out of the parking lot, and left.

Once I had re-gained consciousness after a few hours nap, I realized how mad I was at myself. It really was a great opportunity. And I really liked a lot of things that were said at the retreat. But I wussed out bc of sleep. When I got home I googled the course, and to my relief found literally hundreds of other people who left the course at the same time for the same reasons that I did. Which validated me. A little. Maybe I'll try again someday when I am more prepared. But probably not. I'm content to stick to my current 30-90 minutes of mediation per day.

On Another Note...

I may be getting an opportunity to do some research (unpaid, boo) in EM... at the discount hospital across the way. Yay!!!

Summer

Sucks. For several reasons.

1. No med school. Boo.

2. No money. Which makes free time significantly less fun.

3. Everybody else is like 22 and went home to their families.

4. My friends who have real jobs work during the day.

5. It's too hot here to do anything free outside

6. BORED BORED BORED.

Advice for your Med School Personal Statement

So not to toot my own horn, but toot, toot. When I want to be, (ie. not when I'm blogging or writing lame-o "fear essays") I am a very good writer. Especially when it comes to personal statements. How do I know this? For the following reasons:

1) I've been told in interviews that my PS was in the top 5% of the ones the interviewer had ever read.

2) My friends recommend me out to their friends to write/help/edit their PS's

3) Friends have reported back to me that their interviewers complimented their personal statements.

4) Essays I've written have received interviews at Harvard, Mayo, UCLA, Yale, UPenn, NYU, Mt. Sinai, etc.

So TOOT TOOT!!

Anyway, I'm done bragging but here's my advice.

1. If you know you suck at writing, or are even an average writer, seek help. Get a 2nd opinion and a 102nd opinion. Spell check. Grammar. And lose the freaking run-on sentences. Also, do a word frequency check (by eye). Did you use the same word 18 times in your essay? Did you say "I believe that" 3 times in one paragraph. Fix that. It's super annoying to readers.

2. Pick one direction, go with it. It's the worst to read a completely unorganized essay. Beginning with story 1, jumping to advice your father gave you, then describing your childhood dreams, then jumping to story 2, then describing your dog. Blah blah blah.

3. If you accomplish nothing else in your essay, demonstrate the following two things. 1) you UNWAVERING commitment to whatever you are applying for and why you want to do it, and 2) demonstrate your capabilities in the MOST HUMBLE POSSIBLE WAY. Any hint that this is anything less than your dream job is going to be a red flag. That and being an egotistical a-hole.

4. What you want to do is construct an interesting NARRATIVE that your reader will continue reading until the end. Cliche as it may seem, a story is always best because it makes your reader interested. The LAST thing you want is your Ad-com officer to be mentally exhausted and or irritated from trying to follow an illogical essay or just from TRYING to get to the end. Write a story (true or made up) in which you can weave all your cool little details into.

5. Your essay is not the time to describe every attribute about yourself in complete detail. The idea is to weave in interesting tidbits that will make your reader want to reference your application and look it over more closely. Like "Wow, how did this guy learn Farsi?"... or "Wait, this chick is 24 and she spent 3 years in Djibouti teaching... how is that possible?". If you do it correctly you will effectively coerce your reader to investigate your application more thoroughly instead of just giving it a once over.

6. Use this checklist to make sure you haven't done anything grossly offensive

• Did you come off egotistical?
• Do you put ANYONE down in your essay? Stupid professors, unsupportive counselors, etc. This is a no-no.
• Do you blame ANYONE except yourself for weak spots in your application? This is bad. For example, there is a difference between saying that your grades in college were sub-par because you were splitting energy between school and your full-time job vs. blaming your crappy grades on the fact that your parents cut you off from parental scholarship and you were forced to get a job.
• Is there ANYTHING that can be interpreted as racist, sexist, political, or religious? You should probably lose that stuff.
• Ok, here's a big one. Do you even HINT that you are interested in your chosen field because of money? Meaning you use the phrase "I really enjoy the lifestyle that medicine will afford me"? Definitely LOSE THAT. That's a BIG RED FLAG, BLACK BALL, whatever you want to call it.
• Do you mention that you are going into field X because your parents want you to? Or because your dad is also an X, and you want to be one too?
• Are you overstating your qualifications? Don't make your shadowing experience seem like you were doing lumbar punctures. Everyone on the ad-com will know you're a liar. Or at least a severe exaggerator.
• Name dropping. That's lame.

Here's some great stuff to include if you can:

• Foreign language abilities
• Clinical experiences
• Pre-med moments which made you REALLY want to be a doctor, or moments that made you really uncomfortable
• Your family status. You don't have to, but I think mentioning your kids or spouse is often indicative of your maturity and the diversity you will bring to the class
• teaching experience - adcoms love this. teachers make great learners
• international experiences
• demonstrating that you aren't a stress-basket

Ok, that's all for now. Good luck!

My Official Opinion

1st Year Med School... no sweat

2nd Year Med School...sweat

First year was so easy (for the most part). What the eff happened?

Itching!

Today my friend Dr. J asked me to pick up his kid at school because he was stuck in GI. I was supposed to pick him up at his fancy schmancy private school at 12:30.

As I'm driving there, at about 12:25, I get a sudden and intense itch attack on my legs. Both legs, all over. I just took a shower, so maybe I soaped and shaved my legs in the wrong order? Who knows? But I'm going crazy and despite the fact that I'm going to be late I stop at Walgreens to get some cream. I actually have an awesome concoction of a couple products I use for anti-itch, so I picked them up and paid for them in the pharmacy section. I immediately ran to the pharmacy waiting area after I paid and started slathering on the stuff, cause I was about to explode.

This little old man is watching me and he says "is that good for itchin'? I been itchin' and I can't stop! I think I got into some ivy!"

So I sit down next to him and offer him some of my concoction and explain how it works. He seems happy when it works almost immediately and he says "You should be a doctor"

I smile and reply "You think so?"

I'm reveling in this moment when I realize I'm in Walgreens putting itch cream on a stranger and I forgot Dr. J's kid at school. Crap!

Bone Marrow Donation

The New York Times posted an article on an important topic today. Bone Marrow donation. All it takes is about 5 minutes to register and swab the inside of your mouth. You can save someone's life. I'm on the list. You should be too....

Well, it's true

So yesterday we had a group problem solving session on bleeding and coagulation, etc. The professor starts talking about warfarin, and asks the question "So where do we see warfarin?". And everybody is dead silent. Kind of a weird question. Um, at the pharmacy? In patients who just had a PE? In Nazi Germany?

No one answers.

Of course, OF COURSE, he looks at me and repeats the question. Me. My brain is thinking where do I SEE warfarin? Shit, I'll take my best guess.

ME: Um, rat poison?

PROFESSOR: (Slaps his forehead and guffaws in disbelief) No! No! Do you want to be a doctor??

Apparently the answer he was looking for was in clover. A special kind of clover. Of course!!! I'm such an idiot!

PMAD - Pre-Med Associated Depression

Yes, I'm writing about it. Generally PMAD doesn't kick in until about October (when one of the following things may happen), but I thought I'd write about it a little early... just for pre-emptive purposes.

1) You've had an "oh shit" moment in (insert ridiculously difficult pre-med class here). Probably you failed the mid-term, you are totally behind, or you have no idea what the fuck is going on. You then start awfulizing and realizing that you really only have about 8 chances (your pre-med class grades) to really prove yourself though your GPA. The fact that you are barely passing (or outright failing) Physics and Gen Chem are not good for your overall pre-med momentum. Now you have to work extra hard to pass the classes. And extra hard in your remaining 6 classes to make up for your less than stellar grades. Uh.

2) You may be already in the application process. By October you haven't gotten any interviews, and you no longer can deny that you aren't getting in this year. A cascade of "what the hell am I going to do with my life", "I'm a loser", "I'm going to law school", "I can't think of ANYTHING else I want to do with my life", "F&%$#@G MCAT!!", "My parents are going to kill me", "What am I going to tell everyone????", and a few more rounds of "I'm a loser" all ensue. And repeat.

3) You got your late results back from a summer MCAT, they suck, and now you have to stand around scratching your ass until January to retake. Another year of your life down the drain.

Don't worry. This happens to all of us. It's part of the med school game. Bad news? It doesn't really stop after you get into med school. Good news? In med school you'll NEVER have to do a freakin' physics or o-chem problem EVER!!

So Thankful

I am so thankful to be at my school that I cannot even express it. After receiving several phone calls this week from friends at other med schools, I am now convinced that I attend the absolute best med school on earth. One friend stressing beyond belief, one friend being forced to go to a hearing to determine "repeat 2nd year vs. dismissal", and many others who just haven't enjoyed their med school experience.

I am so fortunate to be blessed with wonderful administration, caring professors, fun classmates, a relaxed (and entertaining!) learning environment, lots of extra time, tons of professional opportunities, all the while living in an incredible city.

This school appreciates my strengths, and doesn't seem to give a crap about my weaknesses. I can continue my "real life" outside of med school without compromising my studies. I don't have to compete with my peers for grades. I don't have to stress if I pass a class with only a 78%. The professors know my name. They even know where I sit. It's wonderful.

It was fate that brought me here. I now know that the time it took to get to med school was so well worth it. If I went a year (or 5!) earlier, or later, I know I would have gone to another school. Maybe a place I got wait-listed at, or possibly I would have made connections that drew me elsewhere. Things happen for a reason. Always. I know I would not have had such a wonderful experience anywhere else.

May your med school days be as wonderful as mine!

Officially, Officially, Officially

Passed 1st year. It's in writing!

To the person

who found my blog by googling "How do I walk a corpse past cops?" please go away. That's really creepy, and I think you're in the wrong spot.

Also... to those typing things like

"Age 17 + 40 MCAT + early anesthesiology residency"

you are probably in the wrong spot too.

Singing Pathology Professor (My School ROCKS!)

Now tell me, folks. At what med school* (besides mine) will a pathology professor play the accordion and sing to you on your first day as a second year med student? Here's proof!

He sang the "itis, oma, emia" song! Hysterical!

*Ok, when I was a t Harvard, my chemistry professor came dressed in a tux and a cape (?) and sang opera to us before our final exam. That was pretty cool. But there was no accordion.

Genital Herpes and a Crystal Ball

Oh, dear. Where to begin? Well for the 5th Saturday in a row I have worked at the student-run free clinic. And I've seen some interesting stuff. Tonsils the size of golf-balls, goiters, "Surprise you're pregnant!", gout, abscesses, etc. But today I diagnosed a 70 year old woman with genital herpes. She'd had it for 4o (F-O-U-R-T-Y!!!) years thinking it was a yeast infection and trying to treat it with Monistat.

Just so happened on my way home my mom and dad called (they always call as a speaker-phone "unit"). When they asked what I was doing, I told them about my patient.

My Mom's reaction was stellar.

MOM: You mean? You? You. Do THAT? They LET you do THAT? I mean, you? Wow. Oh. oh. OK. You just... you just really... you know... you... LOOKED?

ME: No Mom. Nowadays we have these cool doctor crystal balls. You just ask it for the diagnosis... and poof! It says "genital herpes"

MOM: Smart Ass

DAD: (in the background) I think I'd ask that crystal ball again until I got a different answer.

ME: Smart Ass.