This Week Sucked. TGIO (O=over)

1. Totally missed the memo that we had a TBL on Tuesday

2. Basically love cardio but suck at it as I haven't studied for crap

3. Am considering living with my freakin' parents bc I am so broke

4. Guys suck. Is there a middle ground between those that act totally uninterested and those that won't leave me alone for 5 minutes? That would be new and different.

5. I got a flu shot

6. I have to plan a bachelorette party. Is there anything lamer on earth?

7. My dog is being naughty

8. My landlord is annoying

9. Did I mention I am broke?

10. I have a whole lot of academic catch up to play.

My Nephew Will Be Here Soon!!

When Someone You Love Bombs the MCAT

I've seen several Google searches with the above topic directed to my blog, so I thought I would address it directly. When I tanked the MCAT, the only thing worse than tanking was seeing my parents disappointment. Not that I think they really gave a rats ass about me tanking the MCAT. It was more that they were devastated that I was devastated. So here's my what to do and what not to do list.

1. DO NOT act overly disappointed. Empathize, but if you act like this is a huge fuck-up, the test taker will only feel more like a loser.

2. DO NOT push them about "what are you going to do now?" They have just been through a HUGE amount of work that was essentially wasted (well that's how they feel in the moment anyway)... and it is wayyyy too overwhelming to think about studying and taking the test again. They will get there in their own good time.

3. DO remind them that the MCAT is a nightmare for everyone. If it was easy, everyone would be a doctor.

4. DO remind them that there are many people who take the MCAT many times and still get into great US schools. If you don't know any, you do now. See the profiles on the right.

5. DO support them in their temporary "Plan B" options (like taking a semester off, getting a Masters in pharmacology, taking a research job), but encourage them to keep trying for med school. Try to dissuade them from doing anything drastic (ie. running off to the peace corps or joining the circus). The moments after bombing the MCAT are very fragile, and it is easy to convince yourself you don't want a life of medicine... even if you really do.

6. DO NOT tell others that they took/bombed/etc. the MCAT. They will figure out a way to disclose that information on their own time in their own way.

7. DO NOT undermine the importance of the MCAT score or the difficulty of the test. Tips on how to study better or stories of how you fucked up the SAT II will not go over well.

8. DO just be a friend and invite them out to do something to get their mind off the issue will help. When I bombed the MCAT my best friend brought over a bottle of wine and we got lit.

9. As a preventive measure, DO NOT tell everyone you know that so-n-so's MCAT results are due. That's just asking for trouble if it comes back bad.

10. DO send them a link my blog. At the very least, they will feel better that they didn't eff up the MCAT as many times as I did.

Syphilis... with Crabs

Last night was a great night. I'm in a women's book club (yes, me=big dork), and we all got together at this chef lady's house in historic Algiers. We had wine and food and more wine... and we also had home-made crab dip made from crabs she caught (the kind you want to catch, you know). It was totally great.

Funny thing is that unbeknownst to me, the girl who took my state syphilis epidemiologist job was there. Random coincidence. Small world.

Ok, EFF Being PC. This is lame.

Friday I went to the Standardized Patient Clinic where we were supposed to perform a cardio exam. Instead, we got a 20 minute lecture on gown ethics from an SP who was clearly not comfortable being partially (or even minimally) naked in front of people. I mean, maybe if one of us aggressively pawed at her or touched her inappropriately the lecture would have been merited. But nobody had even touched or said anything.

Look folks, I GET that there is a needed threshold of sensitivity for dealing with patient modesty. And I GET that you don't just walk up to people and put your hands down their pants without introducing yourself. But seriously, I was annoyed. I'd really like to do a cardio exam, and I get a lecture about how you should never ever ever ever expose breast or nipple tissue. How you can listen to the A&P valves from the top of the gown, and the Mitral & Tricuspid from the bottom of the gown by rolling it up carefully. And a femoral pulse requires a delicate "tucking" of the gown up the leg. Then when I went to delicately "tuck" the gown I got yelled at for touching the gown. Apparently I am supposed to ask the patient to tuck her own gown.

The entire time I wanted to yell "Give me a fothermucking break!!!!" I don't have time for this. Personally I am not all that into naked chicks, but I had a very strong desire to rip this woman's gown off, judo chop her ass back to on the exam table and have my way with my stethoscope. Seriously? A quick cardio exam turned into 20 minutes of gown-tucking nonsense?? Right. I can just see me on the wards now. "Ella, why the EFF did it take you half an hour to determine that she had normal rate and rhythm?" Oh, sorry, I had to explain to her the gown folding procedure as to not expose any nipple tissue. That should go over well.

Epigluvula

So my neighbor got strep throat and of course, me playing doctor, wanted to see. Not only did I see all that strepnastiness, but I got another surprise. His epiglottis. Popped right up like a cobra in the back of his throat. I was pretty excited, although I wasn't sure how uncommon that was to actually see an epiglottis, I'd certainly never seen one.

So last night I was out to dinner with some friends (one of which is a resident) and I asked if he'd ever seen an epiglottis while just visualizing the throat. He looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet, and said "Yes, on every patient I see". Well then I started to feel like an idiot, and question my own sanity... but I just said, "Huh, I have never seen one before, I guess I'll look harder from now on".

Then he's like "look, you can see mine... it hangs down in the middle"

Then I'm like, "uh, that's your uvula"

Tonight!

Is the annual History of Medicine Society Wine and Cheese Cocktail party. One of our professors lives in a beautiful historic home in the Garden District, and he lets us throw a party at his house every year. I'm sooo excited. It was awesome last year. My lab group will be there, plus most of my close friends from med school. Our prof likes to tell the story that years ago someone ate his goldfish at this party, so this year we are putting plastic goldfish in all the wineglasses just to tease him.

Med School High

Wow. This weekend may have been overload. I went out with my med student friends every night... which was fun. But it really is like high school. He said, she said, omigod are they hooking up?, she looked at me funny, here have a shot, KEGSTAND!, late night pizza, he's flirting with another girl!, she said what?, what an asshole!.

Still had fun, but it makes me so grateful to not have drama. Well, at least that kind of drama :)

Holy F%$#ing F#@*!

Hands down, heme/onc was the hardest test of my med school career thus far. I barely passed. It didn't help that I was seated near the hot guy and got totally distracted every 11 seconds. Just glad its over. And for the record, I will NOT be going into oncology (aka the most B-O-R-I-N-G specialty ever).

Are you asking me if I like to water ski?

Yesterday was our sexual history taking session at the standardized patient clinic. While reviewing the prep handouts, I notice a section broken into categories "safe" sexual behaviors, "risky" and "dangerous". Most of the things seem like run of the mill stuff. Oral sex, unprotected sex, masturbation, blah blah.

And then, I shit you not, it says "water sports" and in parentheses (activities with urine). Then, to further gross you out, it has subcategories of "internal" and "external" water sports. Um, ewe?

So of course, we get put in groups of 4 and assigned our questions to ask the SP. First guy gets the introduction and HPI, second guy gets to ask about recreational drug use, third guy gets to do "education"... and me? I get assigned the sexual activity questions. Typical. Who, what, where, which direction, how many times, yada yada. Good thing I'm not easily embarrassed.

The Flu

Yay! Got the flu right before my Neoplasia Block exam. For which I am not even done studying yet. Ugh.

Update on MCAT Prep

So I decided not to do it. Despite being broke. I got hired and immediately had to decline. I talked to a bunch of friends, and most of them said the amount of unpaid prep time is not worth the semi-decent hourly rate you get while actually teaching. So I figured being really broke (current status) is better than being semi-broke and stressed about having to prep for MCAT teaching.

There is NO better combination...

Than Emergency Medicine and Wine Tasting. Which is exactly what I got to do last week. The EM interest group had a cocktail party and a wine tasting. Of course, the EM doc with the winery was there, plus a bunch of EM junkies from both local med schools. Seriously, there is nothing better than sipping wine and chatting about the Syrah/Grenache blend and a cool bilateral degloving we saw last week from a garbage truck accident. Yay!

On Sh&*^ING Where You Eat

Personally, I've always been against it. You know, dating someone I work with or go to school with, etc. Maybe, possibly, (ok likely) I'd make an exception for Clive Owen if we worked together (or maybe one med student... not naming names), but my general policy is to avoid it at all costs. But, like many things in life, you cannot plan everything.

When I met Eli (Mr. Psychiatrist) he was working at a different school, and I was not yet a medical student. So dating him didn't seem to fall into the above category. Little did I know that just three years later he and I would both be studying to become physicians at the same school. Little did I know that we would break up. Little did I know that he would eventually start dating another physician at our school that I would get to walk out of a lecture and run smack into (practically). Luckily I doubt she knows who I am and I only recognized her bc of the name on her coat.

If that doesn't build the case for expanding your dating pool, I don't know what does. Like I said, I'm now into astronauts. Or maybe firefighters. I mean, seriously, have you EVER seen a firefighter that wasn't hot? In the US firefighters seem to be the equivalent of the Italian Carabineiri Police force. Being hot is like a pre-req. Now, to find one that has more of a personality than a hairbrush and an IQ over 70. Hmmm.

Hmmm. Thoughts on teaching MCAT test prep?

So has anyone taught for a MCAT prep course before, and if so, is it worth it? How much time does it require to prep for the sessions? I am just supposed to be teaching bio right now so I think I know the material pretty well, but I'm wondering about all the other class specific stuff that comes along with it. Is this an appropriate job/time commitment for a 2nd year med student??

Funny Things About Being in Medicine

The other night I was hanging out with a guy, and he asked me what kind of cool "doctor tools" I have. Lol. Way to be subtle!

To the Dark Side

So, although I really do not agree with the exorbitant prices that MCAT prep classes charge... AND I think their classes are mostly crapola, I have indeed surrendered to the frailty of my bank account and have accepted a position to teach MCAT at one of these awful test prep places. Although it is technically against my code of ethics (I mean, pole dancing and stripping is less offensive to me)... I'm still doing it.

Micro is so done

And now we're on to neoplasia. Just finished week one and I haven't studied at all. What else is new? Oh, actually, passed micro with a really decent score. Yay!

Ascaris How I've Missed You

Aside from the fact that I'm about to get my ascaris handed to me on a plate by this next exam (Friday! Yikes! 50% of my grade!)... I forgot how much I LOVE LOVE parasites. Seriously, they are the most interesting things ever.

I've Tried...

And I can not come up with one single reason why I cannot wear 4" Tahari black sequined sling-back peep-toed pumps with my scrubs. You?

*Disclaimer for serious people. This is a joke.