Thoughts on things...

Something shocking happened to me this week. Well, not TO me, but sort of. Someone I love very dearly told me a terrible secret. Here's what happened.

Background. Leslie and I used to work together in the same hospital a couple of years ago. She's a surgery resident. The two of us became sort of inseparable. She is a great resident, a mom, a wife, and all around a pretty cool chick. We've been close friends for a few years now, inside and outside of work.

I haven't heard from her much in a couple of months though, save for a few text messages. I knew she was having a rough time with her sister, troubles at home... and some struggles at work so I kind of blew it off. Finally last week after a million attempts we made it out to dinner. She said she had a lot of stuff to tell me.

When we sat down, she said that she was off work for two weeks and didn't know if she was going back. I figured she had maybe decided to quit via using her vacation time or something like that... but then I saw something was wrong. Really wrong.

"I got caught", she said. She looked at me like I should know what she was talking about. I had no idea WHAT she was talking about. Did she have an affair, I wondered? How could you get put on leave from work for that?? When I finally was able to drag it out of her, she admitted that she had been using for three months.

Folks, I couldn't have been more shocked than if she told me she was having alien children. This was Leslie, for god's sake. She was the most straight, together, awesome resident, and a totally devoted mom. She's uber-responsible, and doesn't really show that she's stressed. I never saw her drink more than a glass of wine, I'd usually have to drag her to go to the mall or to dinner, and and far as I knew she had no drug or alcohol history. I could not fathom how this happened. Of course I knew she had been having rough times over the past year or so... but I never imagined it was this bad.

Turns out she'd been taking un-used fentanyl and injecting it a couple times a day at work and at home before bed for a couple of months. Finally, one of her co-residents suspected her, and reported her.

So why am I telling you this? Because if it can happen to Leslie, the most normal, awesome chick in the world... it can happen to anyone. Quickly. Medical professionals have access to drugs that street junkies can only dream of... and stresses just as bad if not worse. She was dealing with so much pressure on every side of her life that something had to give. I think she created this situation by using drugs so that circumstances in her life would change... because she was stuck in something she couldn't get out of.

Thankfully, medical professionals are allowed chances for rehabilitation and depending on the circumstances of the drug use (if they don't harm a patient) can often petition to have their privileges re-instated. But it will be a long process for her.

The moral? Be in tune with your own emotions, and know when you need help. Don't wait until you crack to make a change. All of this isn't worth it. I'm just her friend and couldn't sleep for three days over this... can you imagine how she feels?

I'm not the oldest one!!!

Well, my fears have been put to rest, I'm not the oldest one in my med school class. Someone (I don't know who) is 33. What a fossil :-)

Anyway, today was the first day of orientation, and I swear I have never been so excited/nervous for anything in my life. It was basically just an introduction day... got a t-shirt, met the deans, met some 2nd years, got my clicker (I've never had one before.. they didn't have them when I was in college)... overall everything went well. Funny, I was eating breakfast and the girl sitting across from me was like "Oh my god, you were my TA!".... great...one of my chemistry students had actually managed to graduate from college and get into med school in the time it took me to get accepted. Awesome. That made me feel like a dinosaur... but everything else was great!

Wired like a Xmas present from the Unibomber

Can't sleep, can''t sleep. Tomorrow is my first day of orientation... going to meet all my future classmates, meet the instructors, see the school.... OH MY GOD!! The facebook page for my class is lit up with all the insomniacs with the same problem.

Some of my friends who've been accepted to med school were like "oh, my acceptance was so anticlimactic" or "the novelty wears off soon". BS ! Since I was accepted almost a year ago I have become increasingly more and more excited. Tonight I am so excited I made chocolate chip cookies to celebrate and was so excited I forgot them in the oven. Ha! My boyfriend just shook his head and suggested that I get it together before I start medical school.

Neck Deep Already

Yesterday I met with my friend and mentor Dr. J, and a 4th year med student. We're starting a project looking at pancreatic tumor cells... which is pretty cool because of several reasons

1) I'm in at the planning phase which means I get my input on the project. I get a say in what type of time commitment this will be, and how much work is involved.

2) Bench research in GI is very hard to come by for a med student. Not that I want to do GI, but if I did.

3) Pancreatic cancer research. Need I say more? Awesome.

Anyway, I'm basically spending my last free day before med school starts writing a protocol. Sweet. Well, that and I got my hair done :)

Nun's Quarters

This is getting so old. I've been making an honest effort not to crash into any furniture over the past two weeks in my band-aid sized apartment... mainly because I don't want to have bruised and battered legs when I have to walk across the stage for White Coat.

This week's score - apartment furniture 15, Ella 0

To DO or not to DO

So here's the controversial subject of the hour. MD vs DO. Is one better than the other? The following are my opinion about DO school and the debate...

Here's a refresher: Osteopathic schools grant a D.O. which is a doctorate of osteopathy. Allopathic schools grant the traditional M.D. DO schools are a little newer, and a DO has all the same "doctor powers" as an MD. They can prescribe, treat, do surgery, etc. The cool thing about DO schools is that they teach physical manipulation techniques which are damn awesome. For example, they may learn to treat a condition with physical manipulation of lymph nodes to promote drainage before resorting to an antibiotic. It's like getting regular medical school plus something extra cool.

There are pros and cons to both schools I believe. The pros of DO school seem pretty obvious to me. You get to be part of a pretty progressive community and learn modern techniques in medicine. Unquestionably I think the education is equal if not better, and your skills will be just as strong as any MD program. DO schools are a little less competitive to get into (but probably not for long... they're catching on quickly!)... meaning that you still have to have all the pre-reqs completed and to take the MCAT, but you can get in with less competitive scores.

The cons of going to DO school are basically that you're going to have to work in a world full of dumb-ass MDs that think that you're inferior. And this can really limit you. First you have to consider the specialty that you want to enter. Most DOs train to do family medicine, pediatrics, internal medicine, etc. There are actually DO residency "slots" that you apply for as a DO based on the DO specific board exams. If you want to cross over an train in a traditionally allopathic residency, you'll ALSO have to take the USMLE boards which are for the MDs. This would grant you access to apply for some allopathic spots, which may include some more competitive specialties like anesthesiology, radiology and orthopedics.

All in all it sounds great, right? So you're probably wondering why I didn't just go to DO school instead of spending so many years waiting for an acceptance to an allopathic school. Well, looking back I probably should have just gone to DO school. But here's the reason I didn't. Basically, I didn't think that I had the strength (nor did I want to), spend the rest of my life defending my education and my credentials. Like it or not, there is a huge stigma from the majority (the MDs) towards the minority ( the DOs, the international graduates, the Caribbean grad, the foreign medical students). I figured I'd had a hard enough time getting here, and I didn't want to add to my problems.

Looking back, this was probably naive... but at the time that's what I felt. And since I'd been rejected by allopathic schools, I guess I felt that I had to prove something to myself by making it. Whatever. I definitely could have saved myself a lot of time and heartache if I'd been a little less proud. Because truthfully, I know a lot of MDs who wish they were DOs, but I don't know any DOs who wish they were MDs.

Sunday Night

My boyfriend and I went to have dinner with his co-worker Greg at a cute little quaint restaurant across the lake. Greg is also kind of his boss for the time being... and it was my first time meeting him. Greg turned out to be a pretty awesome guy. Full of med school advice and he even bought us dinner as a "celebration" since I'm starting medical school next week.

Best part of the night? He asked me when my white coat ceremony was, and then told my boyfriend he could have the whole day off!!! Yay! Now everything will be great!

White Coat Ceremony

I've waited for this for so long! Years ago, I lived across the street from the Boston University Medical School, and I could see their White Coat ceremony from my window. For those unfamiliar, the White Coat ceremony is a formal ceremony where each incoming medical student is presented with his or her first white physician's coat. It's the short waist-length coat to designate that the person is a student. You can wear the hip-length coat after you graduate from medical school. I have dreamed of my own ceremony for so long. And it's almost here!

Of course my parents are coming... but my boyfriend has to work. Damn residency. Hopefully he can talk his way into being able to come. And we're going out for lunch after the ceremony to the most fabulous restaurant in the city. You know how some high-profile restaurants are simply incredibly expensive but a big let-down once you get there? Well, this one is incredibly expensive, but totally worth it. The food is basically sex on a plate. I can't wait.

So my current dilemma (albeit so important) is finding something to wear to my White Coat ceremony. I swear it is apparently the style now to wear only miniskirts... as that is basically all there is in the stores. And since I'm really tall, I can't even "sorta" get away with it. I am on a mission to find a dress in five days.... and I've been to every store in the city. Might have to move on to another city. Crap.

A few stresses...

I guess I haven't mentioned too much about my personal life, but the situation is a little less than perfect.

My boyfriend is a psychiatry resident at the same school I am attending. We bought a house together about a year ago, and have been completely renovating it since then... hoping that we would be done by now. HA HA. Needless to say we are still living in one bedroom, with one bathroom. No kitchen. No space. Definitely no place to study. I do my dishes in the bathtub. It's less than ideal to say the least. And since we are now both officially in school or residency, the prospect of time and money is looking a little dim.

But I do have to say that I love the house. It is over 120 years old, and we are renovating from the ground up. I've designed the floorplan myself, and shopped endlessly for farmhouse sinks, vintage toilets, salvaged chandeliers, beadboard, etc. It's going to be fabulous. Someday.

Five Days Left of Freedom

Today is Sunday and orientation starts on Friday. Looking at the first year schedule, a little nervousness is replacing my excitement. Or maybe it's just nervous excitement.

Anyway, I consider myself incredibly lucky to be at the school I'm at. Somehow, they've received the "progressive" memo and have made conditions highly bearable for medical students. For example, they have restricted the number of hours per day that students spend in lecture... this based on recent studies that students don't absorb and retain material after a certain number of hours in class. How novel. I mean, did it really take a scientific study to prove that students become zombies after 27 hours of lecture? Anyway, I'm happy... because while all my friends are in class from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm every day, I really only have to be there 9:00 am to noon, then 1:00 to 3:00. Some days less, some days more. My school has also implemented a pass/fail system so there is less pressure to compete for grades. Sweet. Not to mention... here's the best part... they stream all the lectures so you can watch them later at your convenience..which makes all classes O-P-T-I-O-N-A-L!!!! Who ever heard of med school where attendance isn't mandatory??? Yay!!!