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Funny Professor Quote of the Day

You are a proctalgia fugax!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Free Food Count #1, #2, #3 and #4

So I thought it would be fun to start a count to see how many free meals I get though the course of med school. I know I´ve probably already had over 100 this semester... but lets start from zero.

This week I had four. And I even missed a few!

1. Dinner at Emeril´s with the Neurology Department. Mmmm. Steak, potatoes, banana cream pie... and lots of wine

2. BBQ - student appreciation luncheon- pulled pork sandwiches, slaw, beans, bread, YAY!

3. 60th Anniversary party - Psych department at the Chateau Bourbon Hotel, dinner, dessert, drinks, the works

4. Club lunch for medical missions - veggie wraps

Still Screwed... but Significantly More Excited

I found out yesterday that I was assigned to do my first year elective in the Emergency Medicine! I am really excited... as I have been dying to jump in and get some EM experience. I'll be working in a Level I trauma center at a rival med school... but WHO CARES? So excited I can't believe it. Starting in January. Yay!!!

Ok, back to studying for the 3 exams that will be kicking my ass later this week.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Screwwwweeeeddd

That's what I am. So this block is only 3 weeks, 3 classes and 3 final exams. I'm almost at the end of week 2 and can BARELY find a shred of motivation to study. All I can think of is Friday next week when I'm done and heading out to vacation for 2 weeks. Seriously, I've studied a total of about 6 hours this block. Ask me what I know about excitable cells? Not too much, sweetheart. Like I said, I'm screwed... and not in the good way.

New Experiences

So I thought I'd make a list of ways that I've changed over the last year. Not sure if these are due to medical school, having a dog, or building a house... but for SURE none of these would have occurred in my prior life without SEVERE emotional distress:

1. Today dog poop fell on my hand while I was picking it up at the dog park. I just rinsed my hand with water (NO SOAP AVAILABLE!!), and went on with my conversation (while drinking coffee). Normally I would have been itching to get home to disinfect.... but folks, I didn't even think about it!

2. My clean dishes are on a dishrack in the BATHROOM. Why? Because this is the only place I have to wash dishes. Yes, there are probably fecal colonies forming on them. But I'm ok with it.

3. I made persimmon cookies the other day, and threw away the persimmons after getting what I needed for the batter. Later I found out I needed more persimmon pulp for the glace. Since these were the only 2 persimmons in the city I could locate, I actually took the persimmon OUT of the TRASH, washed it off, and used the pulp from the inside. O-my-god. This is huge.

4. This year I cut up a human body. Ok... fair enough this one I'm still not at peace with. I actually still can't go in the anatomy lab without holding my breath. But hey, I did it.

5. My beloved SUV, which I have babied and polished and waxed, and kept its leather conditioned and every knick painted.... is doggie-fied. Hair everywhere. Toys, doggie shampoo, poop bags (empty of course lets not get nuts), etc. I do give it an overhaul every few weeks... but in between it's a total dog car. You would certainly mistake it for a soccer-mom car.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Interviews - Post 2

Everyone is freaked out by the questions that you will (or will not) be asked... Fear not, the point of interviewing is just to assure the admissions committee that 1) you can string along a few words in a mildly coherent fashion and 2) that you aren't "grossly offensive" in some way undiagnosed on your paper application. 99% of interviewers feel the same way... less than 1% are actually "out to get you" (meaning they want to stump you or make you look comparatively stupid in contrast to their all-knowing godly physician-ness).

That being said, lets first discuss what you CAN do to grossly offend the 99% of interviewers:

1) BS'ing. Meaning that you've been asked a question that you don't know the answer to... and instead of owning up that you aren't actually familiar with EMTALA or the HENT receptor or the new CDC guidelines for treating HIV... you decide to BS. A lot of times you've been asked this question on the presumption that you won't know the answer... because the interviewer wants to assess how you deal with stress and how your ego works. They're hoping for a response like "No, I haven't heard about that. When did that happen?" or "I have no idea what that is. I'll have to check it out later." If you BS'd your answer, not only will your interviewer likely know you BS'd, but they'll also think you're an ego-maniac that can't admit fault. That would suck.

2)Talking shit. Hopefully, you're thinking "Isn't that obvious?"... but I've seen candidates come to interviews and complain about the poor organization of the interview day, bitch about how cold the city is, describe how boring their student host was, whatever. Bad form. Because anyone who hears you is going to think "Good god, this person bitches so much they can't even control themselves on an INTERVIEW? Yikes. This is probably how GWU ended up with a disgruntled student submitting some 500 odd complaints against them and getting put on probation. Um, NEXT" Additionally, talking shit breaks the "no assholes rule" (see Interviews - Post 1).

3)BO. Again, hopefully obvious... but for whatever reason some people can't figure it out. And BO comes in the most unexpected packages sometimes. Cute little blonde girls who wear Louis Vuitton and Christian Dior makeup. Who would have ever guessed? If you are even remotely unsure, here's my suggestion. Sit down with your best friend in the entire world (who hopefully doesn't also have BO) and say these words. "I have an important question that will affect the course of my entire life, and I need you to tell me the absolute truth no matter how much you will think it will hurt my feelings. I want to be a doctor more than I care about breathing... and if you don't tell me the truth I will never become one. Do I have BO?"

4) Being ungrateful. In any sense. Please make time to thank your interviewer for their time, thank your student host for their hospitality, and thank the secretary for making the day happen. No one owes you an interview or an acceptance. There are about 70,000 people who take the MCAT every year, 40,000 apply to med school, and about 17,000 get accepted somewhere. If you don't appear grateful, someone else will.

OK, let's move on to the questions you should be prepared for. I've seen med-school interview books with 100's of questions. If you are of normal intelligence, you don't need to "prepare" for more than about 5 standard questions. The rest can be answered by just being honest, humble, and mild-mannered. Here's the ones you should be able to answer cold.

1) Why do you want to be a doctor?

Great answers address the following:
- Why being a doctor is a different/better match for you than your other interests (note that I didn't say to slam other careers)
- The process that led you to the decision to pursue medical school (because you shouldn't have decided overnight)
- The aspects that appeal to you in medicine (like the fusion of humanity and science, or the lifelong ongoing learning)

Less than great answers go something like this:
- My dad was a doctor and I decided to become one when I was 4 (way to demonstrate that you have no free will)
- I broke my arm when I was 12 and that's when I made the decision (probably shouldn't rely on the life-long committments you made at 12)
- I want to be rich, drive a Ferrari and pick up lots of women (OK, I've never heard of an applicant say this, but I have friends who are physicians who say this is why they went to medical school... scary)
- I want to help people (duh!)

The general idea is that you want to show that you have solid reasons for becoming a physician that are unique to being a physician. For instance, if you say you want to help people... that's great.. but why not go volunteer at an nursing home and save yourself a decade of work? That is not a sufficient answer. You need to explain yourself better. When I interviewed I was asked why I didn't want to continue on as a high school science teacher. The interviewer commented that it was similar to medicine in that it helped people, had elements of science, and facilitated learning. I answered that while it did have all those things (which I appreciated about medicine), that I didn't feel that being a teacher was challenging for me. I didn't feel that I was growing as a person. In medicine I could help others while challenging myself.

2) What are your strengths and weaknesses. I hate this question. It's so dumb. As if anyone has the ability to TRULY assess their own strengths and weaknesses, and if they did... who would admit them? Is somebody really going to say "I have a stellar rack, which really helps me get attention from important people" or "I'm incredibly brilliant while the other earthlings are complete morons " or "I am secretly addicted to meth, but I still show up for work on time"

BUT, you should still have some good answers up your sleeve for when this question comes up.

For Strengths:
Pick something that the interviewer CARES about. Like I'm resourceful, I'm a mediator, I'm innovative, I'm a strong bench researcher, I speak Vietnamese, or I get along with most everyone. Pick something that will affect THEM, but doesn't sound too boring or egotistical. It's a fine balance. Don't pick something subjective like "I'm nice" or "I'm intelligent"... because frankly, you have no way to assess that yourself.

For Weaknesses:
Well after the Obama, Clinton, Edwards debate a few years ago you now really have to answer this question well. For those of you who missed it... all three were asked about their weaknesses... Clinton answered that she is too hard of a worker, Edwards said that is is too philanthropic (or something like that), and Obama said that he's completely disorganized and his desk is a disaster. Well the media jumped all over him for admitting that he was disorganized yada yada, and his response was "I must have misunderstood the question. I thought I was being asked what my weakness was... and I guess I was supposed to answer with a strength disguised as a weakness"

Point taken. Answering with a strength disguised as a weakness is well, weak. Lame. It makes you look like a pompous ass, actually. So you need to come up with a real weakness. But not too much of a real one. Don't go around admitting that you cut yourself when you stress out before exams or that you steal $100 bills from your Grandmother's secret jelly jar. You should also avoid admitting anything that will send up a red flag on your application. Don't admit weakness in regards to grades, stress, not getting along with people, not liking sick people, not being able to deal with authority, having a learning disorder, not sleeping regularly, having OCP, etc.

Pick something either 1) totally unrelated to med school 2) something that is a subjective weakness or 3) something that USED to be a weakness but you've overcome it.

Examples:
- I used to interrupt people because I get excited about what they are talking about... but I've tried to become conscious of it, and I don't do it as much anymore
- Everyone in my family plays tennis except me. I'm terrible in sports and I'd like to work on that.
- I'm really bad about keeping in touch with my old friends. I get so busy sometimes months go by before I notice.
- I eat a lot of junk food because I have a crazy schedule, and I always say I'm going to start packing healthy lunches for myself... but I never do
- I ask a lot of questions out of general curiosity which I think people can mis-interpret as me doubting the validity of what they are saying. I have really had to work on how I frame my questions.

These are truthful, but pretty benign in the grand scheme of things. You'll give off the impression that you're authentic, but smart enough not to reveal anything inappropriate.

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