Anatomy. They don't call it gross for nothin'

I knew it was going to be bad. But I'd been trying to Buddha Zen Meditate Woosah myself into believing it wouldn't be so bad for weeks. I expected to feel kinda grossed out... but assumed I'd get over it quickly.

So we get the tank and everybody places bets on whether we have a male or female. Losers buy the winners drinks. I call female and we win. Yay! Best part of the experience is over.

So we have an old lady. Nice little old lady I'm sure. But upon the first few cuts we realize she has a lot of fat. Everywhere. She doesn't seem too fat, but there is fat piling up everywhere. We're starting with the back muscles, and one girl is dissecting the left side. And folks, she is REALLY into this. She is literally flinging cadaver slop everywhere... and I have to ask her several times not to fling on me. She actually has a piece on her face!!! And its all over her scrubs, and she is pushing her hair out of her face with her gloves. I was traumatized.

And did I mention the smell? I guess I don't have to. I'm sure you can imagine. Well, to say the least I didn't cut very much... I tried to... but I think it's going to take me a little while to get used to all of this. At one point I must have looked like I was going to pass out, because everybody looked really nervous and kept asking me if I wanted to sit down. I must have been green because I wasn't actually saying anything.

Well, I guess I'll have 3 labs per week until Thanksgiving to get over it. One down, like 65 to go. Crap.

Panic, Anxiety, Stress, Nausea, Holy crap... what did I get myself into??

Ok, it's the end of day 2 of classes and I cannot believe what I have got myself into. Studying hard. Will write more later as soon as I have time... but I wanted you all to know that I haven't forgotten about you. This week has been nuts to say the least.... for the following reasons:

1. I feel really old, and my class is young. Previous years the average age at my school was 25, this year it is 23. Even the anatomy professor stood up and said the class looked like high school students. Guess that's a compliment for me? Anyway, I think normally I am a very social person... but I really haven't felt like getting to know anyone yet. I'm feeling massive uneasiness, and a general all around sense of anxiety... not to mention lonely and a bit of an outsider (which I'm not used to!)

2. NOBODY explains anything in med school. They give a partial lecture for a class, with no accompanying reading or anything. You don't have a set booklist... just a bookstore that carries 20 embryology books, 30 anatomy books, 15 biochem books, etc. You are supposed to go through the books and see which ones YOU like... then buy a selection of books so you can learn the topics the class requires... which is very ambiguous and very nerve-wracking. There is no clear plan to prepare for anything. Overall I'm very confused.

To say the least I am panicking. What the hell have I done? Am I crazy? Did I make a HUGE mistake? All these years??? The material seems cool, the professors are good, I like the clinical correlations.... but I am so confused and over my head. Ok, will post again soon!

A Wonderful, Wonderful Day!

So today was the day! My White Coat Ceremony. My family came into town and we made a weekend out of it. Yesterday I took a bus tour around the city to see six different community health clinics and centers that we will be working at... then I met my family (and everyone else's family) at the city park for a beautiful summer BBQ. The food was great, and I got to introduce my family to the Deans as well as to southern pulled pork sandwiches.

Then today we met up extra early for breakfast (I actually succeeded in not spilling coffee all over my outfit)... then headed over to the Hilton for the ceremony.

It was nice overall, but the Dean unexpectedly asked us to say one word that describes what brought us to this university to study medicine. Everybody was kinda freaked out, because the people ahead kept taking all the words. There are a lot of words in the english dictionary, but today I swear there were only about 80. Everyone ahead of me took my ideas... Adventure, Humanity, Exploration, so when it got to my turn I settled on Discovery. What other words did I hear? Caffeine, Luck, Stick-to-it-ive-ness, Bribes (?), and of course, Mom. I also got my white coat, which despite actually going in to try the sizes I somehow got stuck with a Medium (which I ordered) which I KNOW was actually an XXL (which I DID NOT order), and I was swimming in it. However, along with my white coat, I got an unexpected fabulous present. A Littman Stethescope... everyone got one as a surprise from the alumni association. Can you say A-W-E-S-O-M-E????? I was so excited during the ceremony that I could barely keep from bursting into tears of excitement.

Then after we went to lunch, and had so much fun. They still have 25 cent martinis... and needless to say we got a little silly with my parents and ate massive amounts of bread pudding.

White coat ceremony.... can't be beat!