Oh... so phe-nom-enal!!!

So I've seen patients in the past. Fake patients faking it. Fake patients with real scenarios. Observed real patients. But today, TODAY I had my OWN REAL PATIENTS.... with real diseases!!! It was awesome.

I work at a free community clinic started by medical students from my school several years ago. Essentially there are tons of medical students and 1 or 2 attendings supervising everything. First year medical students take on the role of 3rd years, and 3rd year medical school students take on the role of the resident. We work up the patient and present it to the attending... who just happened to be Dr. Kenton-Hadley. She's basically my idol (except for Carrie Bradshaw and Carla Bruni of course)... and I want to be her. Am I obsessed? Definitely. I don't think she's acutely aware of my obsession... unless she noticed that I was hyperventilating while I presented my cases to her. More on Dr. Kenton-Hadley later.

I had two patients today. One had gout. The other was not happy about what she suspected to be a possible pregnancy. She was pregnant. And I told her. (well sort of... through a translator bc she didn't speak English). All in all, it was awesome.

Not going to lie though, paperwork sucks. Guess I better get used to it.

Oh Dear...

So here's one of the Navy's ships. It's name? HSV II Swift! Which is supposed to stand for High Speed Vessel II... and Swift no less....

Don't they have docs in the Navy that should step in and say "Uh, guys... not a good idea"?

Homogenous People

The other day I was talking to a girl at school and I could not remember her name. So I went home and checked out our little class book which has everyone's pictures and a little blurb about them. "Ah, Sophie. That's her" I thought. But then I came to Alain. That looks like her too. Shit. They really look alike. So I got the brilliant idea that I should briefly review our entire class book to see if I'm getting other people mixed up. Crap on crap. There are like 7 sets of girls that look practically identical to each other.

2 girls with curly brown hair that are super friendly and smily and the same height. Can't get them straight. I really have a tough time with these ones... because one is really nice to me and one I guess I haven't met... so she doesn't really talk to me. For a while I was thinking that she/they was just one really moody person.

4 blond tiny girls with med length straight hair. All pretty. No way this is getting worked out any time soon.

Then there's a girl in my lab who I talk to occasionally. She is a cute girl, but doesn't have any striking features like green streaks in her hair or a wart on her nose so I can easily identify her. I swear I had a full-on conversation with another girl last week thinking it was her. Oops.

I think the real problem here is that I can't recognize people for shit. In fact it's become so bad that I actually had to give myself a game-plan for what to do in case I get stuck in an embarrassing situation. I would explain it here... but then I'd be giving away my tricks... and everyone would know when I'm having a dumb-ass moment.

Professor Thomas

Professor Thomas is our school's confidant. Kind of a mix of a professor, a counselor, a priest, a dad, and a great resource. Supposedly you can tell him anything and he won't report it to the Deans office. Anything like "I spent my financial aid money on hookers" or "I can't study without speedballing" and supposedly if you do whatever he says it will remain confidential and you can come back to school after you get yourself straightened out. Which is pretty damn cool. Because in recent years I have become more and more aware of friends and classmates of mine who have severe drug problems and NO ONE EVER KNOWS. It's incredible at how good people are at staying stealth.

Ok, the point of this post was to discuss something that Professor Thomas told a group of us the other day. Basically he said that our school has only kicked out 5 (yes, F-I-V-E) students for poor academic performance. Ever. Like since dirt was young. Every single other student who has failed or was borderline was remediated by repeating a year or whatever (that's a $70k boo-boo I wouldn't want to make!)

To this, my classmates astutely pointed out that "Well, still... you don't want to end up as #6". And Professor Thomas said "Don't worry...It can't happen on accident. You really have to work HARD to get kicked out. Probably harder than you'd have to work to stay in."

Good to know.

Sucks for them...

Funny. Another blog I read White Coat mentioned this a few weeks back... and I kinda laughed. Then I got invited to a pharmaceutical dinner put on by Eli Lilly and the asterisk says "If you are a physician from the state of Minnesota or Massachusetts and have already fulfilled your $50 annual limit, we look forward to seeing you next year"

Sucks for them....

Getting Pimped

When you get pimped in medicine (AKA Shame-based learning), it means that your upper level, attending, or your professor basically tears you a new asshole in front of your peers by firing off a million questions designed to put you on the spot and make you look like a dumb ass in front of everyone. Well, I should clarify. That's what pimping IS, not what it's supposed to be. If I were an attending defending pimping, I'd probably say something to the effect of "it's the Socratic method of teaching, used in an attempt to facilitate group learning and discussions, etc. etc." Whatever. It sucks.

As I'm sure you've summoned, I'm not really a fan of getting pimped... but as I've gotten older I have to say I'm much better at dealing with it. For instance, I have no problem repeatedly stating that I have no idea what he/she is talking about. I know that there is so much to know in the world that it is OK to say "I don't know". Plus, admitting that you have no idea early on in the pimping session makes it much less enjoyable for the pimper (or maybe just pimp?) to continue his tirade. Additionally, I have no issue with telling somebody to get off my case. Usually I can ward off pimping pretty well. Not to say that a really good pimp couldn't still make my adrenaline surge or even prompt a few tears... but they'd have to be the world's biggest a-hole for that.

So some people advocate that they like professors who pimp because they make you think, they make you uncomfortable, and put you on your toes. I couldn't disagree more. For me, being in utter terror of not having the right answer never contributed positively to my learning processes.

Interestingly, the ones who pimp the most usually seem to be incredibly mediocre, unaccomplished and on their own narcissistic ego trip... out to demonstrate to the group that they know at least one thing that the pimpee doesn't know. It's totally not necessary. I have met some of the most accomplished, amazing, noble prize winning professors and NOT ONE of them ever did this crap to me. According to Buddha's requirements for being a great teacher, one must be deeply compassionate with their students and have ultimate patience. No where on the list does it mention "Pimp your students until they vomit from sheer panic".

Which happens. There are tons of stories about med students and residents getting so stressed out by pimping sessions that they actually pass out, have anxiety attacks, or burst out in tears. Two stories I've heard about at my school include a girl who passed out in anatomy lab after getting pimped (Yuck... hopefully she missed the cadaver), and a guy who passed out during a group learning session after getting grilled. I mean really. What can this possibly accomplish? Since when are "knowing the right answer in 1 second" and "being resourceful and intelligent" synonymous?

A Surgeon's Thoughts on Oncology

Since it's Block III, we have switched anatomy professors again. Our new one seems ok, decent guy, albeit a bit forgetful. Today he asked me to sit down with him and chat for a few minutes... apparently he likes to get to know each student on an individual level. Which I think is pretty nice. So he asked me where I was from, what I have done previously, yada yada. Then I told him how much I like EM, but I was trying to keep my options open. Then I mentioned how I was liking my pancreatic cancer research. He got wide eyes and said "so you like oncology?" I shrugged and said " I don't know, maybe"... then he gave me a funny look, waved his hand and said "Uh. Oncology is like pissing into the wind. Really." Not so encouraging... but funny nonetheless.

That's DOCTOR to you

Friday night my boyfriend and I went out with some friends of ours. He's a physician, she's a dentist. They live in a gated condominium with a security guard at the gate. Upon arriving, we told the guard that we were going to see our friend, Felix Ortiz. He stared at us blankly and suspiciously... as if we were secretly planing a terrorist attack. Again we told him.... "Felix Ortiz... on the 7th floor" Still nothing... "We can call him if you like?" Finally he rocks back on his heels and says "On the 7th floor? Well, that's DOCTOR Felix Ortiz".

Excuuuussseee me.......!!

I Love My iPhone...

I love my iPhone.... but not as much as a friend of mine who just got married in New York. Here's a pic of his groom's cake. Awesome, eh?

Now... to tie this into my pre-med blog... I just have to say that having an iPhone totally rocks... and rocks in medicine. I've been an iPhone junkie for a few years now... and it changed my life~

If you don't have one, you might want to consider it. The applications are endless... Epocrates, drug guides, medical dictionaries, translators, BMI calcs, vision acuity checks, even Pub Med! Not to mention you have your phone, GPS, calendar, email, internet at your fingertips!

Sick Again?

I don't know what the heck is going on, but I was sick for over 2 weeks in the middle of September, and now I am sick again. Head cold, sore throat and an ear infection from hell. Uh, I cannot afford this right now.