I've Tried...

And I can not come up with one single reason why I cannot wear 4" Tahari black sequined sling-back peep-toed pumps with my scrubs. You?

*Disclaimer for serious people. This is a joke.

Just Realized...

Despite the pink hearts on my blog and the cooking pictures and my obsession for shoes... I am not sure I would classify myself as a girly-girl. Well, maybe about some things, but about boys not as much. As in, the last time I had a crush on someone it was like 2003.

Anyway, there happens to be a guy in my class that I think is pretty hot, and I felt compelled to send a text to one of my classmates joking about it. I can not even remember the last time I did that... or felt compelled to spontaneously comment on a random guy's hotness.

Point being, that the one minute that I sat in my driveway composing this text was the one minute it took the burglar(s) to hear me drive up and leave my house. If I would have walked straight in I probably would have interrupted them.

Isn't life weird? I guess boys do serve a purpose after all.

Classmate Confessions

So you know what I LOVE about being Ella? The "confessions" I get from my classmates. Which of course I would never reveal... in any obvious way. Except those snoozing classmates below, their snooze-secrets are out. Lol.

Anyway, back to the post. I can't tell you how many classmates will let it slip that they've read my blog. Casually, I think, to see if I'll freak out that my "cover" is blown. Lol. When I don't freak out, then they will say something to the effect of "It makes me feel so normal to know you feel the same way I do" or "I had to take the MCAT 3 times too. But PLEASE don't tell anyone." or "I too, begged the Dean to let me in" or admission stories more convoluted than mine. I also love it when they confess that they are 100% positive that they are the worst student in class. It reassures me that throwing out my failures for all to see actually helps in some way.

I guess my overall point is that if everyone stopped putting up such a facade of false security and the premise of stellar academic success.... everybody wouldn't feel so bad. I mean, of course there is a decent percentage of my class that is straight awesome. Awesome MCATS, awesome shelf exams, always top of the class. But even they, have academic bloopers and insecurities. And of course there is an even larger percentage of students that are not straight academically awesome. Some of them failed pre-med classes, some bombed the MCAT, some couldn't get in to med school forever, some failed once they got to med school. I think if everyone admitted their bloopers a little more freely, the world would be a better place. Just sayin'.

Plus, life is so much easier when everyone assumes you're an idiot, then you surprise them by occasionally saying something smart. It's way worse the other way around.

Just Bombed the MCAT?

I just wrote this to a reader who "bombed the MCAT"... thought it might help some others out who might be in the same situation.

Well, my very first advice is not to panic. Yet. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who leaves the MCAT thinks they bombed it. I mean, your brain just went through a mental meat-grinder, right? It is the worst feeling in the world. If you left totally secure I'd be more worried. (see comments below). So I would sit tight and just wait for the results. Now if you KNOW FOR 100% SURE that you bombed (like you didn't finish the test, voided the scores, your practice scores were consistently low, or you got topics you didn't even remotely recognize), then you probably have a legitimate worry.

BUT, the good thing in medicine is that you can't get into medical school if you aren't ready. Really ready. And I promise, you'll want to be ready. When I am in my classes I am SO thankful that I had to get a good score and really learn all the material well before I started this stuff... because all the MCAT stuff (well, most of it) is your base foundation. And you don't want to start building more on top of that until that foundation is really strong.

I thought that because I did indeed put a lot of work into studying for the MCAT that I was ready, but that is not always the case. Sometimes you don't know the material as well as you think you do. Sometimes you know the material in your way, but not in the way that leads you to be successful on the exam. Unless you are a genius by birthright, the only way to be ready for the MCAT is to take FULL LENGTH practice exams until you get your target score as a practice score... for some this might be 2 tests, for others 40 tests. Until then you are spinning your wheels.

Now, I know what it is like to bomb the MCAT. I studied soft for a year and HARD for about 6 months before my first one, and I got a terrible score (you can find it on this blog :) I was devastated. Even more so my parents were devastated. I felt like an idiot, a loser, like I had no future, etc. To be expected, right? Well here's the second piece of advice I wish I knew then. Becoming a doctor has nothing to do with how smart you are, it has to do with tenacity. In medicine there is always going to be an "MCAT" situation to overcome. Whether its the application process, the board exams (you take 4 big ones in med school and residency), shelf exams, getting a residency, getting your Dean's letter, getting a fellowship, becoming chief resident, getting a directorship, making full professor, getting a big grant, etc. Its always something. And people fail. Someone has to. At the doctor level everybody is super intelligent and not used to losing... because earlier in life it was so much easier to succeed over people who weren't as capable as you are. But now, even smart people lose out. So the absolute one thing you must get used to is falling down and getting back up again.

Personally, when I bombed the MCAT I had a good backup plan. I applied to a Masters program in the health field and moved to a new city. It ended up being great, provided me some additional foundation building in the sciences, and gave me some great connections to eventually get into a great med school. Here's my issue. I am not all that smart. I mean, logically smart, yes, common sense, yes, people smart, yes. Book smart, not so much... and I'm a terrible test taker. The only reason why I'm in medical school today is because I do have the ability to work my butt off and I didn't give up. In fact when I finally got into medical school (4 MCATS later) the admissions committee basically let me in because they thought my application demonstrated "great diversity and tenacity".

Take the MCAT again if you bomb it. And enjoy the time you have before you go to medical school. Get an interesting job, study something you enjoy, travel, live in another city, or do something creative. Almost every 21 year old med student I know laments the fact that they never had another job or another life... and forever they will only be a doctor. This is a gift you just got to diversify your life before you will forever be a doctor. Start enjoying the ups and downs of the ride, because the road to being a doctor is really really bumpy.

* Oh, and 3rd advice? Stay off SDN. Especially now as you are vulnerable. Don't want to find any pre-meds throwing themselves into traffic.

Things I Wish I Knew My First Year of Med School #1

I'm making a list. And I'll probably add to it. Feel free to add a comment with your best first year advice.

The number one thing I wish I knew last year was to not buy too many books. It is sooo overwhelming to have so many sources. For example, in Anatomy, lets discuss your options. There are at least several versions of each of flashcards, review books, atlases, dissectors, clinical books, and question books. You have videos, models, powerpoints, etc. Plus you have class notes from the note-taker, lectures, professors slides, professor's reviews, etc. The point here is that you are inundated with material... and it is incredibly overwhelming to try to synthesize it all together.

I let myself be too influences by what "everyone" else supposedly thought was best. I'd buy book #1, then "everyone" would rave about book #2, and I'd buy that. Only to find out later that I like book #3 and the other 2 are worthless. Or I'd try to use all 3 and then get super stressed.

So here's the advice in all this:

Pick one or two sources that YOU like, and use them consistently and thoroughly. Skip the review books, those are for REVIEW, not FIRST TIME LEARNING. You can use those later for a shelf exam or Step 1 but you don't really need those all that much. And if you don't feel like you are learning, try a different approach. Some people need to draw structures (which for me is a waste of time). Some people re-copy their notes, some people are addicted to flashcards, some people memorize slides. Don't get bogged down with what others are doing. There is no "right" way to study in med school. And pretty much every class feels completely unknown the first week or two until you get the hang of things.

Second Year Precepting

Ok, so remember last year I had a bariatric surgeon as my preceptor? Well, since it's a new year, we get a new preceptor. This time most all the preceptors are interns, and we go as a group of 3 students. So our preceptor, Dr. S met with us just as she was coming off a 30+ hour shift. One of the guys in my group seemed a bit hesitant... I'm guessing he thought she would probably have turned into Medusa by then... but we went ahead and met with her at the scheduled time. Hey, I figured, the more tired she is, the faster we'll get to go home, right?

Anyway, point is, despite the 30+ hour shift she just finished, she was awesome. Like, nice. REALLY nice. To the point where I'm wondering if she consumed some sort of mood-altering substance. Anyway, we chatted with one patient, and got to go home in about 30 min. My prediction of early release from prison camp was correct-O!

Robbed!!

Damn it. I got robbed today. Came home from ethics class and somebody had broken into my house. Kicked in the door. Tossed everything in my house on the floor. Stole my jewelry... but left my laptop, camera, and ate some of the Red Velvet Cake. Weirdo. Then I spent the rest of the day with the police, the crime scene peeps, cleaning up my house, and with the landlord reattaching my door. Bleh. In the long run, guess I'm lucky. I wasn't here. My dog wasn't here. Didn't lose too much. Feeling blessed.

*Actually, I guess I got burglarized. Since you can't "rob" a residence... only a person. You knew what I meant, right?

A Few More...

Red Velvet Cake

Shrimp Remoulade with Fried Green Tomatoes

Pineapple Upsidedown Cake
And, NO, I didn't make/eat these all at once. Actually the Red Velvet Cake got tossed. Didn't like the frosting texture.

Ella M.D.

Just testing it out. Actually, my diploma will say Ella M.D., certified wikipediatrician, degree courtesy of wikipedia.com.