I've known for a long time that I'm ADD. That's no secret. Well, maybe it is... as it seems obvious to me (as I'm the one inside my own crazy head)... but people who I tell say "really, I wouldn't have guessed that". I've taken meds a couple of times in the past... which actually work well for me... but they tend to make me sick, they're expensive, and since I'm ADD I often forget to take them. So I don't bother.
Recently, however, when describing some muscle pains to my physician, she asked me what I thought the problem was. I told her my convoluted theory that I was dopamine depleted... yada yada... muscle pains... yada yada and by the way, I think I'm ADD. So she suggested I get tested... since there just happens to be an ADD expert around. So I agreed.
The test (which, may I say, was on the top 10 most annoying experiences of my life) came back with a recommended diagnosis of ADHD. Hyperactive type. Say what?
When I asked her why on earth I was hyperactive type, this conversation ensued.
DOC: "well, since childhood you've described having trouble sitting still and paying attention... and even now you have trouble going to class and staying all day. You skip out on conferences, skip office meetings, and when you do attend you get up and walk around, sort M and M's by color, and draw elaborate designs on your notepad to keep your attention"
ME: "So??? Doesn't everyone do that? I mean, most conferences and office meetings are, in fact, useless and boring. And they could just tell me the info in 15 minutes instead of 3 days. It's stupidity. And by the way, that computer ADHD test was totally bogus. Clicking stupid X's for an hour? Who can do that? No one! That was so annoying"
DOC: "No Ella, everyone is NOT like that. I promise you. And by the way, that test was only 14 minutes. And most people can do it easily."
ME: "Well, everyone I know would find that highly annoying. And I've had millions of discussions with friends and family about how boring and difficult it is to sit through class and meetings."
DOC: "It is well known that people with ADD and ADHD associate with other people who have ADD or ADHD. So maybe in YOUR world everyone does that, but I assure you, most people can pay attention and sit through class and are not bored."
ME: (silently) "touche"
In the end we agreed that I have ADHD... but not to "do" anything about it. Me and meds don't get along too well, so she was like "well, you've come this far... you may as well keep doing what you're doing"
True dat. Although, this may have been useful information when I was struggling to get through the MCAT. Four times.
I have started suspecting Concerta as my migraine precursor. I love what Concerta does as far as ADHD, but me getting migraines for two days after taking it, is getting old.
ReplyDeleteI cannot, however, manage life/studying without some sort of ADHD med. I'm thinking that possibly I just need to have the dosage reduced.
My tests for ADHD lasted 6 hours. Be glad!!
Mine wasn't 6 hours. More like 2. The 14 minutes was the computer part only.
ReplyDeleteAnd incidentally, I get severe headaches at the end of the day after taking meds. I've tried Adderal, Concerta and Vyvance.... they all make me nauseas and give me severe headaches. But I can sit still!
ReplyDeleteOh, how funny. Reading along, I said, "Everyone does that!" Then I got to your line where you asked, "Doesn't everyone do that?" YES, everyone does that!
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
I was diagnosed when I was 9- no one at school except my BF knows, but interestingly, if I forget to take meds before class, my friends are like, what on earth is wrong with you! I'm impressed you're able to get through without them- I'm on vyvanse and it's great but I guess I'm lucky I don't have bad side effects- the worst is irritability. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHa! My friend that sits in front of me gives me so much crap because she says I am always squirming and sighing and making exasperated noises.
ReplyDeleteI was totally in agreeance. Like YES everyone does do that! Office meetings are completely boring, and who the heck wants to sit there for hours listening to someone lecture? I don't do meds for the attention issue either because I already have migraine issues and I'm on meds for that and I have enough trouble with those!! As luck would have it one of the side effects is "lessened attention span"! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I'm ADD... like you, I'd be surprised to find the "H" added in. Personally, I don't think it is something that hinders me. I think it is much of the reason behind my creativity and novel problem-solving ability.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I have what seems to be endless, constantly diverging lines of thought running through my mind. It always amazes me at how quickly I can start at point A (with the intention of getting to point B) and ending up at point Z.
I think it is my ability to arrive at Z that makes me unique. I'm constantly making connections between seemingly unrelated concepts that turn out to be extremely insightful.
The only downside is that I seem to "tune out" the world when I focus on something. But, I can't imagine giving it up to be ordinary. I like the fact that my brain is always firing.
Maybe that's just me.
Good luck, Ella! I think it is a good idea to keep doing what you are doing since it seems to be working really well for you.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of your dog!