Not So Much Cool as a Cuke

Last night I was a patient. And a freaked out one. So this is probs TMI, but it's my blog and I don't care. So I occasionally get a UTI. Maybe once every few years. But they are always solved within an hour by drinking a couple of big glasses of water. No biggie. But last night it didn't work. It just got worse. And worse. And eventually I started peeing blood. And then I panicked. Like panicked panicked. WTF? I knew I wasn't going to die. Well I kinda felt like it, but I knew logically I wouldn't. And the other thing. I had this horrible realization that I was alone. Like really alone. Who should I call at 2:00am? Lolo had to work in the morning... and what could she do? Dr J was sleeping... and though I called him he didn't pick up. I was seriously in too much pain to go to the ER or urgent care. And Mr. Ex Boyfriend was on vacay with his new girlfriend. Not exactly great options.

An hour later it got worse and I sacked up and called my ex. He called me in an antibiotic and some azo. I'm sure his girlfriend was thrilled that he was doing me favs while on vacation. Oh well. Then I woke up my neighbor to run to Walgreens for me. Which he nicely did. That was pretty major for me actually. I have some crazy psychosis where I am practically physically incapable of asking other people for favors. But I did. And they said yes. So thank you Eli and my neighbor. You saved my ass.

Tonight

I'm going to our block party. Its a "pink" party. Who knew that I do not own one single garment that is pink? Must be a f*&% up on an X chromosome somewhere.

My Lovebug is Here to Stay

My dog Luke, now lives with me on a permanent basis. Ex boyfriend by some miracle agreed to relinquish him... and I am looking for a new place to stay. Not right away, but within a few months where he can have more room to play.

I know it probably isn't the best decision for a med student to make... but right now I am able to take better care of him... and for once in my life I've decided to worry about the future when it comes.

3 Types Of Med Students

I wrote a guest post for Dr. D a few months back describing 3 types of med students and what the "right" reasons are for going to med school. I wanted to repost it here... bc I think it's super relevant to applying to medical school.

So before we get into what the "right reasons" are, let me clarify a couple of things. Medical school is difficult. It takes tons of time. It's stressful. It is a huge commitment. It's competitive. It is also a million other wonderful things. Everyone in medical school has essentially the same base experience.... four years of school plus residency, essentially the same course load, the same time schedule, the same amount of financial aid available for monthly living expenses, etc. Yet, you will hear every different opinion from students about their medical school experience... ranging from "it was the worst time in my life" to "this is easy cake" to "this is so much fun". In my opinion, one of the MAJOR factors that contributes to the differences in student's experiences in medical school is the vast array of reasons why they are there.

Now when I spoke before about the "right" reasons... I guess I should clarify... as who am I to say what the "right" reasons are... But let me describe a pattern I have noticed among medical student. I think there are three main groups of student attitudes about medical school. I'll describe them here.

The happiest students (those who have a balanced perspective, who do well academically, who have reasonable amounts of stress and anxiety, and those who generally "love" medical school) are those who are enjoying the journey. Meaning, they actually love medicine, love the material they are studying, love the lifestyle of continued learning and a high-paced academic environment. Of course, many have other interests and families, but to them medical school is not an obstacle in the way of those things. Med school is an awesome part of their life. Personally, I'm a second year medical student, and I love reading my huge Robbins pathology book with a cup of coffee in the early morning. I love going to lecture and participating in clinical problem solving. I feel a rush everytime I am in the hospital, I talk to my patients for too long, and my brain is always coming up with ideas for projects and research. I look forward to residency and my future career, but I am in no way miserable in school. I certainly think I fall in this category. I absolutely could NOT imagine being anything other than a physician... it took me so much work to get here that I am actually in academic bliss all the time. I know this sounds weird and a bit (ok a lot) over the top... but I know a lot of other people like this. If you ask them about medical school, they will describe it just like I have.

The second group of people are those that like medicine just fine, and it came about as a reasonable choice. They worked hard in undergrad... and are all around strong academic students. To them, medicine is more of "a good field to be in" for them instead of "the most amazing and only possible career on the planet". They are smart kids, but probably had interest in other careers as well... they could have been attorneys or engineers or business entrepreneurs or stock brokers and would have been just as happy. They are happy in medical school not because it is their #1 all time passion... but because they are very strong scholars willing to put in the work in order to be in a field like medicine. They do well academically, but are a bit blase about medicine... often eager to get home, eager to skip extra discussion about a disease or patient, and tend to be a bit disinterested and or frustrated with the rigamarole that comes with medicine. This doesn't make them less of a physician, but they do not enjoy the ride of med school as much as the above group. They are "putting up" with med school... and willing to wait to get out so they can have a family, a paycheck and a steady schedule.

The third group are the miserablites, of which there are two categories. These are the students that don't come to class because they hate medical school. They are barely hanging on by a thread academically, they are socially and academically absent, and they are caught up in the idea that that are in the wrong spot. They've figured out that medicine is a lifestyle that doesn't end after medical school... and they just come to the hard realization that the "misery" of studying, testing, stress and academic/hospital nonsense will be a theme in their lives forever. The first category of miserablites ended up in medical school because of outside pressures. Either from family or society or from within themselves, they felt pressure to do something "worthwhile", to make a choice, any choice,... and medicine seemed like it would be the answer. Their heart wasn't in it... but they either didn't have another readily identifiable passion, or they felt their other passion didn't hold enough weight. A lot of people in this category really wanted to just focus on another less traditional passion, or on family, having kids, being a parent, but got pressured into having a career first... and they are miserable because their heart isn't into med school.

The second category of miserablites came to medical school for the money or the lifestyle, and quickly figured out that those reasons are not sufficient to motivate you through the insanity of medical school. There are a million ways to be rich, that don't involve 8+ years, intense academic work, and a quarter of a million dollars in student loans. And they also figured out (news flash) that being a doctor doesn't make you rich... perhaps a bit too late. Sure you can make a life where you are comfortable financially... but 90% of doctors are not free of financial obligations. Student loans, malpractice insurance, etc. make the life less than glamorous. And frankly, though you can and will make a solid income more than the average American, the goal of being "rich" doesn't seem all that worth it two weeks before Step I when you are sleep deprived, amped up on caffeine, cramming, freaking out, and wishing you'd gotten an MBA or become a real estate agent. The miserablites are those who, as you say regard medical school as "sucking all life out of me, leaving me absolutely passionless, tired and with no ambitions". I can tell you I have NEVER even one day felt this way about medical school.

So, in essence, I think everyone applying to med school has a lot of thinking to do.

Ok No Joke

Again, cardiology is really really awesome. It is just so intuitive. I mean, not to say that I understand everything I'm learning... but the heart is the most amazing organ ever. Not to mention, taking out the heart was the only day of anatomy I even slightly enjoyed.

Kicking Papa Robbins in the Arse

Definitely read some 70 odd pages in Big Daddy Robbins path book in 4 1/2 hours. What now?

More Food (aka Med School Procrastination)!

Bow tie chicken pasta with grape tomatoes broiled in olive oil, and fresh feta and rocket arugula from the farmer's market.

Stuffed Mushrooms

Cilantro Salsa

Quail Stuffed with Port Soaked Raisins, Sage, and Walnuts, served with Brown Sugar Roasted Acorn Squash.

Sesame Crusted Seared Tuna with Floral Peppers

It's Really Too Bad

That you have to do IM before you can be a cardiologist. Cause cardio is totes awesome.

This Week Sucked. TGIO (O=over)

1. Totally missed the memo that we had a TBL on Tuesday

2. Basically love cardio but suck at it as I haven't studied for crap

3. Am considering living with my freakin' parents bc I am so broke

4. Guys suck. Is there a middle ground between those that act totally uninterested and those that won't leave me alone for 5 minutes? That would be new and different.

5. I got a flu shot

6. I have to plan a bachelorette party. Is there anything lamer on earth?

7. My dog is being naughty

8. My landlord is annoying

9. Did I mention I am broke?

10. I have a whole lot of academic catch up to play.

My Nephew Will Be Here Soon!!

When Someone You Love Bombs the MCAT

I've seen several Google searches with the above topic directed to my blog, so I thought I would address it directly. When I tanked the MCAT, the only thing worse than tanking was seeing my parents disappointment. Not that I think they really gave a rats ass about me tanking the MCAT. It was more that they were devastated that I was devastated. So here's my what to do and what not to do list.

1. DO NOT act overly disappointed. Empathize, but if you act like this is a huge fuck-up, the test taker will only feel more like a loser.

2. DO NOT push them about "what are you going to do now?" They have just been through a HUGE amount of work that was essentially wasted (well that's how they feel in the moment anyway)... and it is wayyyy too overwhelming to think about studying and taking the test again. They will get there in their own good time.

3. DO remind them that the MCAT is a nightmare for everyone. If it was easy, everyone would be a doctor.

4. DO remind them that there are many people who take the MCAT many times and still get into great US schools. If you don't know any, you do now. See the profiles on the right.

5. DO support them in their temporary "Plan B" options (like taking a semester off, getting a Masters in pharmacology, taking a research job), but encourage them to keep trying for med school. Try to dissuade them from doing anything drastic (ie. running off to the peace corps or joining the circus). The moments after bombing the MCAT are very fragile, and it is easy to convince yourself you don't want a life of medicine... even if you really do.

6. DO NOT tell others that they took/bombed/etc. the MCAT. They will figure out a way to disclose that information on their own time in their own way.

7. DO NOT undermine the importance of the MCAT score or the difficulty of the test. Tips on how to study better or stories of how you fucked up the SAT II will not go over well.

8. DO just be a friend and invite them out to do something to get their mind off the issue will help. When I bombed the MCAT my best friend brought over a bottle of wine and we got lit.

9. As a preventive measure, DO NOT tell everyone you know that so-n-so's MCAT results are due. That's just asking for trouble if it comes back bad.

10. DO send them a link my blog. At the very least, they will feel better that they didn't eff up the MCAT as many times as I did.

Syphilis... with Crabs

Last night was a great night. I'm in a women's book club (yes, me=big dork), and we all got together at this chef lady's house in historic Algiers. We had wine and food and more wine... and we also had home-made crab dip made from crabs she caught (the kind you want to catch, you know). It was totally great.

Funny thing is that unbeknownst to me, the girl who took my state syphilis epidemiologist job was there. Random coincidence. Small world.

Ok, EFF Being PC. This is lame.

Friday I went to the Standardized Patient Clinic where we were supposed to perform a cardio exam. Instead, we got a 20 minute lecture on gown ethics from an SP who was clearly not comfortable being partially (or even minimally) naked in front of people. I mean, maybe if one of us aggressively pawed at her or touched her inappropriately the lecture would have been merited. But nobody had even touched or said anything.

Look folks, I GET that there is a needed threshold of sensitivity for dealing with patient modesty. And I GET that you don't just walk up to people and put your hands down their pants without introducing yourself. But seriously, I was annoyed. I'd really like to do a cardio exam, and I get a lecture about how you should never ever ever ever expose breast or nipple tissue. How you can listen to the A&P valves from the top of the gown, and the Mitral & Tricuspid from the bottom of the gown by rolling it up carefully. And a femoral pulse requires a delicate "tucking" of the gown up the leg. Then when I went to delicately "tuck" the gown I got yelled at for touching the gown. Apparently I am supposed to ask the patient to tuck her own gown.

The entire time I wanted to yell "Give me a fothermucking break!!!!" I don't have time for this. Personally I am not all that into naked chicks, but I had a very strong desire to rip this woman's gown off, judo chop her ass back to on the exam table and have my way with my stethoscope. Seriously? A quick cardio exam turned into 20 minutes of gown-tucking nonsense?? Right. I can just see me on the wards now. "Ella, why the EFF did it take you half an hour to determine that she had normal rate and rhythm?" Oh, sorry, I had to explain to her the gown folding procedure as to not expose any nipple tissue. That should go over well.

Epigluvula

So my neighbor got strep throat and of course, me playing doctor, wanted to see. Not only did I see all that strepnastiness, but I got another surprise. His epiglottis. Popped right up like a cobra in the back of his throat. I was pretty excited, although I wasn't sure how uncommon that was to actually see an epiglottis, I'd certainly never seen one.

So last night I was out to dinner with some friends (one of which is a resident) and I asked if he'd ever seen an epiglottis while just visualizing the throat. He looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet, and said "Yes, on every patient I see". Well then I started to feel like an idiot, and question my own sanity... but I just said, "Huh, I have never seen one before, I guess I'll look harder from now on".

Then he's like "look, you can see mine... it hangs down in the middle"

Then I'm like, "uh, that's your uvula"

Tonight!

Is the annual History of Medicine Society Wine and Cheese Cocktail party. One of our professors lives in a beautiful historic home in the Garden District, and he lets us throw a party at his house every year. I'm sooo excited. It was awesome last year. My lab group will be there, plus most of my close friends from med school. Our prof likes to tell the story that years ago someone ate his goldfish at this party, so this year we are putting plastic goldfish in all the wineglasses just to tease him.

Med School High

Wow. This weekend may have been overload. I went out with my med student friends every night... which was fun. But it really is like high school. He said, she said, omigod are they hooking up?, she looked at me funny, here have a shot, KEGSTAND!, late night pizza, he's flirting with another girl!, she said what?, what an asshole!.

Still had fun, but it makes me so grateful to not have drama. Well, at least that kind of drama :)

Holy F%$#ing F#@*!

Hands down, heme/onc was the hardest test of my med school career thus far. I barely passed. It didn't help that I was seated near the hot guy and got totally distracted every 11 seconds. Just glad its over. And for the record, I will NOT be going into oncology (aka the most B-O-R-I-N-G specialty ever).

Are you asking me if I like to water ski?

Yesterday was our sexual history taking session at the standardized patient clinic. While reviewing the prep handouts, I notice a section broken into categories "safe" sexual behaviors, "risky" and "dangerous". Most of the things seem like run of the mill stuff. Oral sex, unprotected sex, masturbation, blah blah.

And then, I shit you not, it says "water sports" and in parentheses (activities with urine). Then, to further gross you out, it has subcategories of "internal" and "external" water sports. Um, ewe?

So of course, we get put in groups of 4 and assigned our questions to ask the SP. First guy gets the introduction and HPI, second guy gets to ask about recreational drug use, third guy gets to do "education"... and me? I get assigned the sexual activity questions. Typical. Who, what, where, which direction, how many times, yada yada. Good thing I'm not easily embarrassed.

The Flu

Yay! Got the flu right before my Neoplasia Block exam. For which I am not even done studying yet. Ugh.

Update on MCAT Prep

So I decided not to do it. Despite being broke. I got hired and immediately had to decline. I talked to a bunch of friends, and most of them said the amount of unpaid prep time is not worth the semi-decent hourly rate you get while actually teaching. So I figured being really broke (current status) is better than being semi-broke and stressed about having to prep for MCAT teaching.

There is NO better combination...

Than Emergency Medicine and Wine Tasting. Which is exactly what I got to do last week. The EM interest group had a cocktail party and a wine tasting. Of course, the EM doc with the winery was there, plus a bunch of EM junkies from both local med schools. Seriously, there is nothing better than sipping wine and chatting about the Syrah/Grenache blend and a cool bilateral degloving we saw last week from a garbage truck accident. Yay!

On Sh&*^ING Where You Eat

Personally, I've always been against it. You know, dating someone I work with or go to school with, etc. Maybe, possibly, (ok likely) I'd make an exception for Clive Owen if we worked together (or maybe one med student... not naming names), but my general policy is to avoid it at all costs. But, like many things in life, you cannot plan everything.

When I met Eli (Mr. Psychiatrist) he was working at a different school, and I was not yet a medical student. So dating him didn't seem to fall into the above category. Little did I know that just three years later he and I would both be studying to become physicians at the same school. Little did I know that we would break up. Little did I know that he would eventually start dating another physician at our school that I would get to walk out of a lecture and run smack into (practically). Luckily I doubt she knows who I am and I only recognized her bc of the name on her coat.

If that doesn't build the case for expanding your dating pool, I don't know what does. Like I said, I'm now into astronauts. Or maybe firefighters. I mean, seriously, have you EVER seen a firefighter that wasn't hot? In the US firefighters seem to be the equivalent of the Italian Carabineiri Police force. Being hot is like a pre-req. Now, to find one that has more of a personality than a hairbrush and an IQ over 70. Hmmm.

Hmmm. Thoughts on teaching MCAT test prep?

So has anyone taught for a MCAT prep course before, and if so, is it worth it? How much time does it require to prep for the sessions? I am just supposed to be teaching bio right now so I think I know the material pretty well, but I'm wondering about all the other class specific stuff that comes along with it. Is this an appropriate job/time commitment for a 2nd year med student??

Funny Things About Being in Medicine

The other night I was hanging out with a guy, and he asked me what kind of cool "doctor tools" I have. Lol. Way to be subtle!

To the Dark Side

So, although I really do not agree with the exorbitant prices that MCAT prep classes charge... AND I think their classes are mostly crapola, I have indeed surrendered to the frailty of my bank account and have accepted a position to teach MCAT at one of these awful test prep places. Although it is technically against my code of ethics (I mean, pole dancing and stripping is less offensive to me)... I'm still doing it.

Micro is so done

And now we're on to neoplasia. Just finished week one and I haven't studied at all. What else is new? Oh, actually, passed micro with a really decent score. Yay!

Ascaris How I've Missed You

Aside from the fact that I'm about to get my ascaris handed to me on a plate by this next exam (Friday! Yikes! 50% of my grade!)... I forgot how much I LOVE LOVE parasites. Seriously, they are the most interesting things ever.

I've Tried...

And I can not come up with one single reason why I cannot wear 4" Tahari black sequined sling-back peep-toed pumps with my scrubs. You?

*Disclaimer for serious people. This is a joke.

Just Realized...

Despite the pink hearts on my blog and the cooking pictures and my obsession for shoes... I am not sure I would classify myself as a girly-girl. Well, maybe about some things, but about boys not as much. As in, the last time I had a crush on someone it was like 2003.

Anyway, there happens to be a guy in my class that I think is pretty hot, and I felt compelled to send a text to one of my classmates joking about it. I can not even remember the last time I did that... or felt compelled to spontaneously comment on a random guy's hotness.

Point being, that the one minute that I sat in my driveway composing this text was the one minute it took the burglar(s) to hear me drive up and leave my house. If I would have walked straight in I probably would have interrupted them.

Isn't life weird? I guess boys do serve a purpose after all.

Classmate Confessions

So you know what I LOVE about being Ella? The "confessions" I get from my classmates. Which of course I would never reveal... in any obvious way. Except those snoozing classmates below, their snooze-secrets are out. Lol.

Anyway, back to the post. I can't tell you how many classmates will let it slip that they've read my blog. Casually, I think, to see if I'll freak out that my "cover" is blown. Lol. When I don't freak out, then they will say something to the effect of "It makes me feel so normal to know you feel the same way I do" or "I had to take the MCAT 3 times too. But PLEASE don't tell anyone." or "I too, begged the Dean to let me in" or admission stories more convoluted than mine. I also love it when they confess that they are 100% positive that they are the worst student in class. It reassures me that throwing out my failures for all to see actually helps in some way.

I guess my overall point is that if everyone stopped putting up such a facade of false security and the premise of stellar academic success.... everybody wouldn't feel so bad. I mean, of course there is a decent percentage of my class that is straight awesome. Awesome MCATS, awesome shelf exams, always top of the class. But even they, have academic bloopers and insecurities. And of course there is an even larger percentage of students that are not straight academically awesome. Some of them failed pre-med classes, some bombed the MCAT, some couldn't get in to med school forever, some failed once they got to med school. I think if everyone admitted their bloopers a little more freely, the world would be a better place. Just sayin'.

Plus, life is so much easier when everyone assumes you're an idiot, then you surprise them by occasionally saying something smart. It's way worse the other way around.

Just Bombed the MCAT?

I just wrote this to a reader who "bombed the MCAT"... thought it might help some others out who might be in the same situation.

Well, my very first advice is not to panic. Yet. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who leaves the MCAT thinks they bombed it. I mean, your brain just went through a mental meat-grinder, right? It is the worst feeling in the world. If you left totally secure I'd be more worried. (see comments below). So I would sit tight and just wait for the results. Now if you KNOW FOR 100% SURE that you bombed (like you didn't finish the test, voided the scores, your practice scores were consistently low, or you got topics you didn't even remotely recognize), then you probably have a legitimate worry.

BUT, the good thing in medicine is that you can't get into medical school if you aren't ready. Really ready. And I promise, you'll want to be ready. When I am in my classes I am SO thankful that I had to get a good score and really learn all the material well before I started this stuff... because all the MCAT stuff (well, most of it) is your base foundation. And you don't want to start building more on top of that until that foundation is really strong.

I thought that because I did indeed put a lot of work into studying for the MCAT that I was ready, but that is not always the case. Sometimes you don't know the material as well as you think you do. Sometimes you know the material in your way, but not in the way that leads you to be successful on the exam. Unless you are a genius by birthright, the only way to be ready for the MCAT is to take FULL LENGTH practice exams until you get your target score as a practice score... for some this might be 2 tests, for others 40 tests. Until then you are spinning your wheels.

Now, I know what it is like to bomb the MCAT. I studied soft for a year and HARD for about 6 months before my first one, and I got a terrible score (you can find it on this blog :) I was devastated. Even more so my parents were devastated. I felt like an idiot, a loser, like I had no future, etc. To be expected, right? Well here's the second piece of advice I wish I knew then. Becoming a doctor has nothing to do with how smart you are, it has to do with tenacity. In medicine there is always going to be an "MCAT" situation to overcome. Whether its the application process, the board exams (you take 4 big ones in med school and residency), shelf exams, getting a residency, getting your Dean's letter, getting a fellowship, becoming chief resident, getting a directorship, making full professor, getting a big grant, etc. Its always something. And people fail. Someone has to. At the doctor level everybody is super intelligent and not used to losing... because earlier in life it was so much easier to succeed over people who weren't as capable as you are. But now, even smart people lose out. So the absolute one thing you must get used to is falling down and getting back up again.

Personally, when I bombed the MCAT I had a good backup plan. I applied to a Masters program in the health field and moved to a new city. It ended up being great, provided me some additional foundation building in the sciences, and gave me some great connections to eventually get into a great med school. Here's my issue. I am not all that smart. I mean, logically smart, yes, common sense, yes, people smart, yes. Book smart, not so much... and I'm a terrible test taker. The only reason why I'm in medical school today is because I do have the ability to work my butt off and I didn't give up. In fact when I finally got into medical school (4 MCATS later) the admissions committee basically let me in because they thought my application demonstrated "great diversity and tenacity".

Take the MCAT again if you bomb it. And enjoy the time you have before you go to medical school. Get an interesting job, study something you enjoy, travel, live in another city, or do something creative. Almost every 21 year old med student I know laments the fact that they never had another job or another life... and forever they will only be a doctor. This is a gift you just got to diversify your life before you will forever be a doctor. Start enjoying the ups and downs of the ride, because the road to being a doctor is really really bumpy.

* Oh, and 3rd advice? Stay off SDN. Especially now as you are vulnerable. Don't want to find any pre-meds throwing themselves into traffic.

Things I Wish I Knew My First Year of Med School #1

I'm making a list. And I'll probably add to it. Feel free to add a comment with your best first year advice.

The number one thing I wish I knew last year was to not buy too many books. It is sooo overwhelming to have so many sources. For example, in Anatomy, lets discuss your options. There are at least several versions of each of flashcards, review books, atlases, dissectors, clinical books, and question books. You have videos, models, powerpoints, etc. Plus you have class notes from the note-taker, lectures, professors slides, professor's reviews, etc. The point here is that you are inundated with material... and it is incredibly overwhelming to try to synthesize it all together.

I let myself be too influences by what "everyone" else supposedly thought was best. I'd buy book #1, then "everyone" would rave about book #2, and I'd buy that. Only to find out later that I like book #3 and the other 2 are worthless. Or I'd try to use all 3 and then get super stressed.

So here's the advice in all this:

Pick one or two sources that YOU like, and use them consistently and thoroughly. Skip the review books, those are for REVIEW, not FIRST TIME LEARNING. You can use those later for a shelf exam or Step 1 but you don't really need those all that much. And if you don't feel like you are learning, try a different approach. Some people need to draw structures (which for me is a waste of time). Some people re-copy their notes, some people are addicted to flashcards, some people memorize slides. Don't get bogged down with what others are doing. There is no "right" way to study in med school. And pretty much every class feels completely unknown the first week or two until you get the hang of things.

Second Year Precepting

Ok, so remember last year I had a bariatric surgeon as my preceptor? Well, since it's a new year, we get a new preceptor. This time most all the preceptors are interns, and we go as a group of 3 students. So our preceptor, Dr. S met with us just as she was coming off a 30+ hour shift. One of the guys in my group seemed a bit hesitant... I'm guessing he thought she would probably have turned into Medusa by then... but we went ahead and met with her at the scheduled time. Hey, I figured, the more tired she is, the faster we'll get to go home, right?

Anyway, point is, despite the 30+ hour shift she just finished, she was awesome. Like, nice. REALLY nice. To the point where I'm wondering if she consumed some sort of mood-altering substance. Anyway, we chatted with one patient, and got to go home in about 30 min. My prediction of early release from prison camp was correct-O!

Robbed!!

Damn it. I got robbed today. Came home from ethics class and somebody had broken into my house. Kicked in the door. Tossed everything in my house on the floor. Stole my jewelry... but left my laptop, camera, and ate some of the Red Velvet Cake. Weirdo. Then I spent the rest of the day with the police, the crime scene peeps, cleaning up my house, and with the landlord reattaching my door. Bleh. In the long run, guess I'm lucky. I wasn't here. My dog wasn't here. Didn't lose too much. Feeling blessed.

*Actually, I guess I got burglarized. Since you can't "rob" a residence... only a person. You knew what I meant, right?

A Few More...

Red Velvet Cake

Shrimp Remoulade with Fried Green Tomatoes

Pineapple Upsidedown Cake
And, NO, I didn't make/eat these all at once. Actually the Red Velvet Cake got tossed. Didn't like the frosting texture.

Ella M.D.

Just testing it out. Actually, my diploma will say Ella M.D., certified wikipediatrician, degree courtesy of wikipedia.com.

My Snoozing Classmates

So I'm probably going to be crucified for posting this... but I think it's adorable and I couldn't pass it up. Somebody sent it out to the whole class on email... and I'm doing my part to ensure it lives on forever.

Perks In Medicine

One of the best things about being a Doctor? The ridic amounts of free food and special treatment. Especially in the physicians lounge. I went into one the other day that had free soft serve ice cream, an ENTIRE freezer of ice-cream bars, 10+ leather sleeper massage chairs, cappuccino machines, free laser color printing, a 60" LED flat screen TV, a fresh salad bar, hot meals all day long, soda machines, etc. All free for the Docs! Ahhh.

Here's a quick photo snapped by a friend of mine at her physician lounge...

Will Med School Make Me Miserable?

I answer this question on a Guest Post over at Dr. D's site. Check it out.

Red House, Blue Door

Get this. The other day I'm with Lolo and her friend Kate... eating lunch. It was the first time I'd really met Kate, and I eventually ended up telling her about my house that I was previously building and my ex Mr. Psychiatrist. Though I just used his first name. For the purposes of this conversation I'll call him Eli. Here's the conversation:

Kate: Wait, your house is on Street X, and your ex boyfriend's name is Eli?

Me: Yeah, why?

Kate: Omigod. Is he a psychiatrist?

Me: Um, yes....

Kate: Omigod.

Me: Uh, what?

Kate: He dated my best friend. And he was awful to her. And he had a girlfriend the whole time that he lived with, and she didn't know.

Me: Um. Ok. When was this?

Kate: 2008

Me: (having heart failure) We were together in 2008. And 2007 and 2009.

Kate: (looking like she was going to pass out)... you have a red house with a blue door, right?

Me: No. No? No I don't! Yellow house. (At this point tears of relief start flowing... panic subsides)

I immediately knew who she was talking about. In my freak out I forgot that there is a neighbor two doors down with a red house and a blue door, owned by another psychiatrist named Eli.

Whoa. Close one.

It's Baaaaacccckkkkkkk....

That lovely anatomy smell. In the lounge, the stairwell, the cafeteria. Today I was in a club officers meeting and we were actually trying to plan events on days when the first years didn't have lab so they wouldn't funk up the room. Ewe. Wash your scrubs kids.... it's icky if you don't.

Lab Group Conversation Today During Micro TBL

Rin (she's getting married in Jan): We want to have six kids in eight years.

Me (choking on my starburst): SIX????

Rin: Yeah, why?

Me: Do you know what your vagina is going to look like after that?

Panda (dying laughing): ....

Rin: Well, no I haven't really made that a priority...

Me (holding up a Gatorade sized bottle): Well it won't be good... that's all I can say

Panda: still cracking up

Rin (talking to Panda): Great. Now you're thinking about my vagina, aren't you??

T-32 hours.. I think

But I can't really do math right now. I have a micro exam on Friday morning... and I am delirious. And I don't know why, but studying has made me consume about 65,000 calories in the past 2 days. Not to mention the fact that I am in severe caffeine intoxication after eating half a package of chocolate covered espresso beans.

Having Kids in Medical School

Oh, man. Seems to be the topic of the day... and since I got linked on SDN on this topic... I like to put my 2 cents in. Here, of course. Not on SDN. As I would rather gouge my eyes out with a spoon. A dull one. Anyway.

For all the hoopla... and advice from people who don't have kids (oops, peeps like me)... the answer is very simple.

Q: Can you go to med school with kids?

A: Yes, of course

Q: Can you have kids while in med school?

A: Yes, of course.

Q: Will it be easy?

A: Maybe. That depends on you.

Q: As easy as it is for someone with no kids, no commitments, no other responsibilities except studying?

A: No, likely not.

I mean, that's it folks! People have their own priorities. And many many people make kids work in medical school. I personally know a couple in my class who is expecting their first baby... both are second year med students. I also know a couple that graduated from med school several years ago, were BOTH in med school and had THREE kids under the age of 8 (one was an infant). I know an older female student who just started med school at 36, and has kiddos at home. And I know a guy friend of mine who went to the Caribbean with a 1 year old his first year... and his wife (not a student) is pregnant and expecting half way through his second year. All of them love their kids and their lives.

I mean, it all goes back to what you LIKE! Personally, I don't really want to be a mom right now... so having kids sounds yucky to me. I spend all of my extra time blogging, cooking, taking my dog to the park, going to museums, shopping, etc. But could I change my mind, and substitute all that time for raising kids? Sure. its totally doable.

My best advice? Seriously, anything (almost) is possible. Just depends on how much you want to do it.

Thoughts?

Q: So Ella, Why Did You Flunk Out of Med School?

A: Um, I got new cookbooks instead of textbooks, spent my financial aid money at the farmer's market, and I forgot to study medicine. Completely.

Q: Was it worth it?

A: Absolutely.

Filet with Sauteed Mushrooms and Burgundy Sauce

Brown Molasses Sugar Cookies

Home-made Guacamole

Coq Au Vin

Fresh Figs with Chevre Goat and Raw Honey

Mushroom Turkey Burger with Blue Cheese

Kidney Bean and Summer Squash Soup

Flourless Chocolate Almond Cake

Beef Bourguignon

Cold Cucumber Salad with Red Pepper and Sweet Vinaigrette

Creme Wafers

Fresh Peach Ice-Cream

Bucatini Pasta with home-made pesto, roasted eggplant and pine nuts

Farm-House Loaf

Ahhh! I did it again...

F%$@!! I didn't mean to... it just happened. Only for a minute. I knew I shouldn't have... but somebody linked me... and I wanted to see... so I did it. I looked at SDN.

And of course, as usual, it makes me want to throw myself through plate glass.

Do yourself a favor. Put parental controls on that useless POS website.

Groceries or Microbiology Book?

So I made it through the summer... thanks to my parents chipping in (saving my ass) and a late tax return. But I am down to my last funds which have to pay my August bills... and financial aid doesn't show up for a few more weeks. Microbiology is supposed to be 5 weeks long... and it started today. I need to buy a book... but it was $85 at the bookstore, no used copies, AMSA sale was out, and Amazon still charges $65 + tax, shipping and I'd have to wait for it to get here.

In the end, I said screw it. I bought groceries instead.... and had pasta for dinner. Yay!

Bad News

Well, not for me. But a friend of mine who's supposed to be going onto 3rd year (in another state) just found out that he failed 2nd year. And since he was on a military scholarship, that went kaput too. They dropped him, official Friday. Sigh. I don't know how much it takes to fail a year... one class? Two classes? One BIG test that makes you fail a class? I don't know... but I feel for him, and for everyone else who is repeating a year. All I can say, is one thing I know in life... probably the only thing I really know... is that things happen for a reason. A reason that may not be clear for many years... but for a reason none the less.

A date...

So I went on a date for the first time since Mr. Psychiatrist and I broke up. It's been 7 months and I figured its time. It was ok. He was nice and cute. But he's a critical care/ lung transplant doctor. And a rather serious one. He's a couple years older than me and wayyyyyyyy up the doctor food chain. Let's just say his general attitude was something like "I work 22 hours a day, sleep 1 hour a day, and drink coffee 1 hour a day". Okkkaaaayyyy then....

I'm thinking it might be a good plan to move on to dating a different profession. Maybe astronauts? I mean... they travel for work and you know they aren't cheating (thanks to NASA's new no sex in space rule and video surveillance).... so you get space and security. They are famous for something noble. Intelligent, sexy (ever notice that even old astronauts have sex appeal?), fit... it's win-win situation. Assuming you have good life insurance. Anybody know one?

Last 12 hours of Freedom

Before 2nd year starts. Ugh. I only had like 5 days off since my final physio exam. Bleh.

Apparently

I am not an alcoholic. Nor a boozer. Nor can I really even drink much more than 2 glasses of wine. Well, not anymore anyway. My college days were a different story.

Point is.... Last night I went to the welcome party for the incoming class (go 2014!!)... and where else would it be except the FQ? After squeezing through approximately 300 people in 400 square feet, and standing in line for my 2 for 1 "drink special"... (oh yay)... I emerged with 2 beers. I don' t normally drink beer... but it was cheap and I detest spending money on crappy alcohol in crappy places that don't even have a drink list. So I went with beer. 2 for 1, like I said. I spent most of the night nursing those two beers.... then I decided to go home. But when I went to close my tab the bartender wouldn't let me pay on my card without a $10 minimum. So I thought I would order something yummy. Baileys and cream... but she had no cream (awesome, high class bar I tell you)... so I settled for Baileys and water. Which WAS yummy by the way.

Then I started chit-chatting with my ex lab partner, Rew. Who nicely offered me another Baileys and water. It was yummy... so I said ok. That was when everything went to hell. A gal in my class handed me a kamikaze, what could I do... it was a gift? Then our class prez handed me a mystery shot... which I made it through about 1/4 of it before I chucked it in the trash and decided it was time to head home.

Lets just say it wasn't a pleasant night after that. Water. Excedrin. Shower. Shower. Shower. Sleeping in the shower. Ugh. Yuck, you can imagine the rest.

I figure I have to get that drunk about every 5 years or so to remind myself why I don't drink more than two drinks. My last REALLY drunk experience was in 2005 and ended with me, my brother, and his friend getting jumped in a parking lot and subsequently kicking the shit out of 8 drunk guys in suits from a T-mobile convention at 4 am in Norfolk. I was actually too drunk to see but somehow managed to kick some ass. Ah, a story best saved for another time.

Convolution

Ok, here's another funny convoluted story I feel like sharing. About three years ago I went on three dates with a guy. Let's call him Ben. First two were ok (he's a pretty funny guy), but the third one he got plastered and turned into a real ass at the end of the night. When he finally slammed a car door on me and said he was pissed at me for what I don't know (um, what's to be pissed about on a third date??) I ditched him and ended up walking home in my high heels all the way from downtown. Needless to say, we never spoke again. I did see him from afar at a restaurant once, but he totally snubbed me. Fine. Eff you too.

Then randomly, last week, I see that he is tagged in a Facebook photo with one of my former students. So of course I send her a message like "WTF???... how do you know this tool?" She laughs and says something to the effect of "Tool is right. He's my best friends ex, they were engaged, he cheated, etc." To which I did a mental "Whew... best walk home in high heels ever"

That was last week. After three years. LAST NIGHT, I'm at my favorite winebar and Lolo suddenly gets a terrible look on her face. Lolo played wing(girl) on one of the dates (a double date) way back when. I turn around and there he is. One foot from my face. He smiles... which is weird bc he previously ignored me in the restaurant. Anyway, he's like "Hey can I come chat with you guys?" So he did, which was ok.. and he proceeds to spend the next 20 min discussing his ex (who is a med student, too, I guess)... and then starts to discuss what "went wrong" between "us". I clearly told him that what went wrong was that he was an asshole... and that there was no "us". To which he said "huh, I was hoping for a little sugar coating on that". Lol. He actually seems like a nice guy... to hang out with... but to date? Um, no. Unless you are into that whole lying, cheating, borderline alcoholic thing....

I HAVE FANS!

Oh, you have to get this! So I saw some incoming students on the class of 2014 facebook page who were a bit older and seemed pretty darn cool. So I emailed one of them and invited them to coffee for a chit chat. THANK GOD there are finally some peeps my age around school. Turns out new student #1 also invited new student #2 to come along... so I got to meet two students my age.

Here's the cool part. They BOTH told me that they had read my blog (or at least parts of it).... and they both found it on their own. And it was totally a random coincidence that I emailed one of them with an invite to coffee. They seemed a little reluctant to tell me... lol... I guess it's like reading someones diary or something.... but hey, I write this for people to read. Well, preferably people I don't know... but there's always that chance, right? At first I thought "Oh crap what the hell did I write on there"... but truthfully I think they were more weirded out than I was. It was pretty cool actually. Like I said, it feels like I have fans! Well, at least 2 people read my ramblings. Even my parents don't do that.

* Oh AND they both like EM. Automatic cool factor.

Things Don't Work Out for a Reason

You all know I'm a big believer in fate, destiny, things happening (or not happening) for a reason. Well remember the Haiti trip that I only needed like $400 to go on... but in the end I couldn't go? Well, I realized there was a BIG reason why destiny didn't let me go.

So I was on Facebook and one of the guys who went on the trip posted some pics. Cool. So I stalked the Haiti pics of course.

Then I saw it. A pic of a huge tarantula. Ok, cool. I'm sorta ok with tarantulas as long as we both adhere to our cosmic peace treaty. Which says "I stay out of your bed, you stay out of mine". Then I see the caption under the pic of the tarantula that in effect says "These were all over the rooms and the beds where we stayed." Uh, oh HELL no. Then I looked at the building they stayed in. And the room covered with BATS!! Folks, there were wayyyy too many creepy crawlies in there for me.

Now, let me just clarify by saying I am not a wimp. I've been camping in the Brazilian Amazon. But I was outdoors. I don't like being in sketchy man-made dwellings where lots of creatures hang out. Give me a hammock and a mosquito net or a tent ANY DAY over sleeping in a cabin or a stucco building.

Anyway, point is that I would have basically stayed awake for 7 days... and that wouldn't have been any fun at all, now would it?

A Cool Phone Call

So I happen to be Facebook friends with an EM doc Medical Director in my city. Not friends, FACEBOOK friends only. So I sent EM doc a message with a couple questions about EM, to which they promptly replied "Call me, today". Yikes! But I sacked up and we chatted for over an hour, and it was great! I am SOOOOo sososososososososooooooooooo going into emergency medicine.

My New Research Gig

I had a meeting today with the research department of the Emergency Medicine program of the school down the street. Which went pretty good. I am now officially on my way to designing my own EM research project... which will hopefully result in some EM publications.

I went in to the meeting with two ideas. One which I was really stoked about and the other I felt was ho-hum. Well, the director of the research dept. didn't seem to "get" my wonderful idea... but she way WAYYY stoked about my ho-hum idea. So that's what I'm doing. Ho-hum.

Stupid Premed Questions

There are some premed questions that are just plain stupid. Well, scratch that, rephrase many premed questions that are just plain stupid.

This one makes me nuts. Because it's a circular question, to which the answer is so plainly obvious that I don't understand why it generates SOOOO much talk.

Stupid question #1: Do adcoms frown on taking the MCAT more than once?

My gut response: SCREEEEECH (pterodactyl noise of irritation).

My rational (somewhat) response: Um, who cares? I mean, in every situation who cares?

If you bombed it and need to take the MCAT again, having more than one score is certainly better than having a low score.... as you won't even get considered. Better to be "frowned" upon than to have your application thrown into file 13, right? Duh.

If you got an OK score, lets say 29, and you're shooting for a better school and better score, take it! If you can't get in with a 29, you have to? Right? It's not like the school who wants a 32 would look at an application with just a 29 and say "oh GOOD, he only took the MCAT once!!!!!!!" vs seeing an application with a 29 and a 33 and saying "well, this applicant clearly sucks as he re-took the MCAT".

If you got a ROCK STAR score, why would you bother taking it again? This might be a problem better solved by counseling and a good psychiatrist. Besides, what if you got a LOWER score? Mwahahahahahahahaaaa.

If your scores EXPIRED, again, you don't really have a choice, right? Better than the app going in the trash.

If you are scheduled for the exam but not prepared, why purposely put a low score on your transcript that you will have to trump later anyways?

If you have a string of low scores... you're never going to get into med school without a good one... so what's another score??

Your Friends are OLD

So last night I'm out with some friends. Lolo was there of course (she and I are kinda inseparable), Lizzard, Lizzard's boyfriend M, and Ralph. For a re-cap, Lolo is an epidemiologist, Lizzard is getting her PhD in Epi, M is a fellow, and Ralph is an attending. Got it? Ok.

So we got some din-din (sushi, bleh), got caught up on the New Orleans real world episodes (bleh, bleh) and then headed out to get some drinks. The Bridge Lounge is an ok place, minus the smoke and the occasional piles of dog vomit you could step in bc it's a dog bar as well, but they have one thing going for them... that's that they make the most ridiculous key lime martinis on earth. So we went.

Upon arrival, it just so happens that a good portion of my class is there. Including my cutie patootie ex-lab partner Panda. Who admits to reading my blog (XOXO). So I chit chat a bit and begin to introduce him to my friends. To which he promptly denies me, peeking over my shoulder with a look of reluctance. "Who ARE they?" I then recount the above resume, to which he replies "Man, your friends are OLD!! I think I'm going to pass"

And seriously folks, he was serious. But I don't get it. When I was twenty-oh-something, I would have been totally stoked to be introduced to older people higher on the food chain in my field in a social setting. No?

Cheating

The New York Times posted an article about cheating today, albeit not in med schools, but it got me thinking. Is this really a problem in medical schools? I can honestly say I have never cheated on an exam. I would like to say I have never cheated ever, and although I can't remember any specific event, I wouldn't go so far as to say I never copied someone's homework in high school. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Sounds like something I probably would have done. But not in college. And not in my Master's work. And certainly, without a doubt, positively, never, never, ever, in medical school. Holy crap I worked so hard to get here I'd way rather fail an exam (or a whole class) than to be kicked out for cheating. The thought of it makes me cringe.

But I do hear of "situations". And we have an honor board judicial committee for just that. A grapevine story at my school (about a DIFFERENT school) is about a couple of friends, Jack and Jill, who had a professor that was apparently out to get them. During an exam, the professor thinks Jack is copying Jill's work, and essentially threatens Jill with "if you don't turn him in I will". Jill denies that Jack would ever do such a thing, and refuses to turn him in, and the whole thing blows up. They both get sent to committee, and their parents hire fancy attorneys and the school hires a "cheating specialist" who somehow can determine if cheating took place and who cheated off who. The specialist decides that no cheating has occurred, and Jack and Jill are invited back to med school, to which they both promptly reply "Fuck you" and transfer schools.

Anyway, anybody know how often cheating occurs in med schools? I'd like to know.

Caribbean Schools

So I'd like to get some discussion going about Caribbean schools. From people who WENT there. I can speculate all I want from people I know... but I'd like to hear about your experiences. Specifically.... which one you went to, if you'd do it again, if you think it's better than the DO option, the quality of the education, the attitude of the professors and administration, work ethic and dedication of the student body, overall living conditions, financial aid, clinical exposure... basically your overall experience.

I want real info. Not a-friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend kinda stuff (unless you are their BFF of course) :)

Gallbladder Schmallbladder... haha.

Eh, not dying. Gallbladder is fine. I just happen to be having intermittent excruciating pain exactly where my gallbladder is. Coincidentally.

Ouch

So last night around 10 pm my stomach started hurting. RUQ, just right of center, shallow and under my rib cage. A couple weeks ago I had the same pain, but it was less intense and I dismissed it as a strained muscle or gas, whatever.

But last night hurt. A lot. So of course I was thinking gallbladder. But although it was painful, I expected gallbladder pain to be much worse. I thought about going to the ER, but I would wayyy rather be miserable in my own bed than miserable in an ER waiting room... so I meditated my way back to sleep (see? the course came in handy after all!). By 4 am the pain woke me up, and I was COLD. So I took a hot bath and tried to fall back asleep. I woke up at 9 and headed to the hospital for bloodwork and an ultrasound.

After my ultrasound, the following conversation took place:

Me: So did you see anything blatantly abnormal?

U.S. tech: You have to discuss that with your doctor.

Me: Hmmm. That doesn't sound good (laughing)

U.S. Tech: silence and a stare

Me: O-kaaaayyyy, then

U.S. Tech: I can tell you if it was really really bad I wouldn't let you leave right now

Me: (silently) What the EFF does that mean???

Summer Continued...

So lets discuss all I have done this summer. Well, that's about it. Lol. No, seriously. I've re-done some furniture, been swimming a few times, been training for my marathon (which is going well, actually), procrastinated studying for my make-up physio exams, and dropped out of my Buddhist retreat. Bleh. That's a decent story.... here goes.

So my friend Kiluam went on and on about how I should go to this retreat since I am interested in Buddhism and meditation. 10 days. He did it and said it was awesome. I was a little nervous but he kept assuring me that I would love it. I purposely didn't research it bc I didn't want other's opinions to influence me. So about 2 weeks ago I drove to the Dallas area for the retreat. 10 days. 10 hours of meditation per day. No talking. No phones. No reading. No journaling. No exercise. No eating after 12 noon. No sweat? The eating thing made me nervous... but other than that I was pretty game.

When I got there I was fine. The place was nice, I had my own room, the food was good. I wasn't hungry, either. They were however, adamant that we promise to stay all 10 days. In order to give the mediation technique a fair shake. Ok, fair enough. No sweat. The first evening of meditation was nice, and the whole next day was ok, too. Silence. Meditation. Mindful eating. But 10 hours was still 10 hours. A lot. You wake up at 4:00 am, meditate 2 hours, eat breakfast at 6:30 am, mediate 'till 11. Eat lunch. Mediate 'till bedtime essentially .By the 3rd day fatigue started really setting in and I was fighting to stay awake during my mediations. It was a horrible day. All day I was fantasizing about sleep. By the time the evening rolled around I was exhausted, and trying to convince myself not to quit. But that inner discussion kept me from sleeping, which made me panic more, because I simply could not face another full day of fighting fatigue. Frankly, driving 500 miles home seemed less daunting than trying to keep it together for another full 10 hours of mediation.

So at 3:00 in the morning, a full hour before the morning gong is rung, I snuck out. I strapped all my belongings to me so I didn't have to make 2 trips, and I left like a thief in the night. Like escape from Alcatraz. I hiked to the parking lot, wheeling my suitcase off the sidewalk in the grass as to not make any noise. When I finally reached my car, I realized someone blocked me in. Luckily I have a jeep. I threw my shit in, off roaded out of the parking lot, and left.

Once I had re-gained consciousness after a few hours nap, I realized how mad I was at myself. It really was a great opportunity. And I really liked a lot of things that were said at the retreat. But I wussed out bc of sleep. When I got home I googled the course, and to my relief found literally hundreds of other people who left the course at the same time for the same reasons that I did. Which validated me. A little. Maybe I'll try again someday when I am more prepared. But probably not. I'm content to stick to my current 30-90 minutes of mediation per day.

On Another Note...

I may be getting an opportunity to do some research (unpaid, boo) in EM... at the discount hospital across the way. Yay!!!

Summer

Sucks. For several reasons.

1. No med school. Boo.

2. No money. Which makes free time significantly less fun.

3. Everybody else is like 22 and went home to their families.

4. My friends who have real jobs work during the day.

5. It's too hot here to do anything free outside

6. BORED BORED BORED.

Advice for your Med School Personal Statement

So not to toot my own horn, but toot, toot. When I want to be, (ie. not when I'm blogging or writing lame-o "fear essays") I am a very good writer. Especially when it comes to personal statements. How do I know this? For the following reasons:

1) I've been told in interviews that my PS was in the top 5% of the ones the interviewer had ever read.

2) My friends recommend me out to their friends to write/help/edit their PS's

3) Friends have reported back to me that their interviewers complimented their personal statements.

4) Essays I've written have received interviews at Harvard, Mayo, UCLA, Yale, UPenn, NYU, Mt. Sinai, etc.

So TOOT TOOT!!

Anyway, I'm done bragging but here's my advice.

1. If you know you suck at writing, or are even an average writer, seek help. Get a 2nd opinion and a 102nd opinion. Spell check. Grammar. And lose the freaking run-on sentences. Also, do a word frequency check (by eye). Did you use the same word 18 times in your essay? Did you say "I believe that" 3 times in one paragraph. Fix that. It's super annoying to readers.

2. Pick one direction, go with it. It's the worst to read a completely unorganized essay. Beginning with story 1, jumping to advice your father gave you, then describing your childhood dreams, then jumping to story 2, then describing your dog. Blah blah blah.

3. If you accomplish nothing else in your essay, demonstrate the following two things. 1) you UNWAVERING commitment to whatever you are applying for and why you want to do it, and 2) demonstrate your capabilities in the MOST HUMBLE POSSIBLE WAY. Any hint that this is anything less than your dream job is going to be a red flag. That and being an egotistical a-hole.

4. What you want to do is construct an interesting NARRATIVE that your reader will continue reading until the end. Cliche as it may seem, a story is always best because it makes your reader interested. The LAST thing you want is your Ad-com officer to be mentally exhausted and or irritated from trying to follow an illogical essay or just from TRYING to get to the end. Write a story (true or made up) in which you can weave all your cool little details into.

5. Your essay is not the time to describe every attribute about yourself in complete detail. The idea is to weave in interesting tidbits that will make your reader want to reference your application and look it over more closely. Like "Wow, how did this guy learn Farsi?"... or "Wait, this chick is 24 and she spent 3 years in Djibouti teaching... how is that possible?". If you do it correctly you will effectively coerce your reader to investigate your application more thoroughly instead of just giving it a once over.

6. Use this checklist to make sure you haven't done anything grossly offensive

• Did you come off egotistical?
• Do you put ANYONE down in your essay? Stupid professors, unsupportive counselors, etc. This is a no-no.
• Do you blame ANYONE except yourself for weak spots in your application? This is bad. For example, there is a difference between saying that your grades in college were sub-par because you were splitting energy between school and your full-time job vs. blaming your crappy grades on the fact that your parents cut you off from parental scholarship and you were forced to get a job.
• Is there ANYTHING that can be interpreted as racist, sexist, political, or religious? You should probably lose that stuff.
• Ok, here's a big one. Do you even HINT that you are interested in your chosen field because of money? Meaning you use the phrase "I really enjoy the lifestyle that medicine will afford me"? Definitely LOSE THAT. That's a BIG RED FLAG, BLACK BALL, whatever you want to call it.
• Do you mention that you are going into field X because your parents want you to? Or because your dad is also an X, and you want to be one too?
• Are you overstating your qualifications? Don't make your shadowing experience seem like you were doing lumbar punctures. Everyone on the ad-com will know you're a liar. Or at least a severe exaggerator.
• Name dropping. That's lame.

Here's some great stuff to include if you can:

• Foreign language abilities
• Clinical experiences
• Pre-med moments which made you REALLY want to be a doctor, or moments that made you really uncomfortable
• Your family status. You don't have to, but I think mentioning your kids or spouse is often indicative of your maturity and the diversity you will bring to the class
• teaching experience - adcoms love this. teachers make great learners
• international experiences
• demonstrating that you aren't a stress-basket

Ok, that's all for now. Good luck!

My Official Opinion

1st Year Med School... no sweat

2nd Year Med School...sweat

First year was so easy (for the most part). What the eff happened?

Itching!

Today my friend Dr. J asked me to pick up his kid at school because he was stuck in GI. I was supposed to pick him up at his fancy schmancy private school at 12:30.

As I'm driving there, at about 12:25, I get a sudden and intense itch attack on my legs. Both legs, all over. I just took a shower, so maybe I soaped and shaved my legs in the wrong order? Who knows? But I'm going crazy and despite the fact that I'm going to be late I stop at Walgreens to get some cream. I actually have an awesome concoction of a couple products I use for anti-itch, so I picked them up and paid for them in the pharmacy section. I immediately ran to the pharmacy waiting area after I paid and started slathering on the stuff, cause I was about to explode.

This little old man is watching me and he says "is that good for itchin'? I been itchin' and I can't stop! I think I got into some ivy!"

So I sit down next to him and offer him some of my concoction and explain how it works. He seems happy when it works almost immediately and he says "You should be a doctor"

I smile and reply "You think so?"

I'm reveling in this moment when I realize I'm in Walgreens putting itch cream on a stranger and I forgot Dr. J's kid at school. Crap!

Bone Marrow Donation

The New York Times posted an article on an important topic today. Bone Marrow donation. All it takes is about 5 minutes to register and swab the inside of your mouth. You can save someone's life. I'm on the list. You should be too....

Well, it's true

So yesterday we had a group problem solving session on bleeding and coagulation, etc. The professor starts talking about warfarin, and asks the question "So where do we see warfarin?". And everybody is dead silent. Kind of a weird question. Um, at the pharmacy? In patients who just had a PE? In Nazi Germany?

No one answers.

Of course, OF COURSE, he looks at me and repeats the question. Me. My brain is thinking where do I SEE warfarin? Shit, I'll take my best guess.

ME: Um, rat poison?

PROFESSOR: (Slaps his forehead and guffaws in disbelief) No! No! Do you want to be a doctor??

Apparently the answer he was looking for was in clover. A special kind of clover. Of course!!! I'm such an idiot!

PMAD - Pre-Med Associated Depression

Yes, I'm writing about it. Generally PMAD doesn't kick in until about October (when one of the following things may happen), but I thought I'd write about it a little early... just for pre-emptive purposes.

1) You've had an "oh shit" moment in (insert ridiculously difficult pre-med class here). Probably you failed the mid-term, you are totally behind, or you have no idea what the fuck is going on. You then start awfulizing and realizing that you really only have about 8 chances (your pre-med class grades) to really prove yourself though your GPA. The fact that you are barely passing (or outright failing) Physics and Gen Chem are not good for your overall pre-med momentum. Now you have to work extra hard to pass the classes. And extra hard in your remaining 6 classes to make up for your less than stellar grades. Uh.

2) You may be already in the application process. By October you haven't gotten any interviews, and you no longer can deny that you aren't getting in this year. A cascade of "what the hell am I going to do with my life", "I'm a loser", "I'm going to law school", "I can't think of ANYTHING else I want to do with my life", "F&%$#@G MCAT!!", "My parents are going to kill me", "What am I going to tell everyone????", and a few more rounds of "I'm a loser" all ensue. And repeat.

3) You got your late results back from a summer MCAT, they suck, and now you have to stand around scratching your ass until January to retake. Another year of your life down the drain.

Don't worry. This happens to all of us. It's part of the med school game. Bad news? It doesn't really stop after you get into med school. Good news? In med school you'll NEVER have to do a freakin' physics or o-chem problem EVER!!